


Sheffield, Day 2

by ChristianHowe, helena_s_renn



Series: Eleven Strings – yksitoista kieltä [15]
Category: Def Leppard, Sonata Arctica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-02-27 07:10:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13243128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristianHowe/pseuds/ChristianHowe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/helena_s_renn/pseuds/helena_s_renn
Summary: Jani visits Sav in England for a few days. Most of day 2 is spent sleeping, eating, having sex (not necessarily in that order).





	1. Waking up together

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not ours, not true; as far as the authors are aware, none of this ever happened.

* * *

_He couldn't breathe! His chest muscles felt as if they were paralysed and something was blocking his windpipe. He was going to die!_

__

__

"Shh, Jani..."

_Mum? Jani fought to open his eyes but when he succeeded, he was blinded by the painfully intense bright light. His eyes weren't the only part of his body that hurt, though: the agony that ripped through him from his pinkie made him forget for a moment that he couldn't breathe..._

Jani woke up with a scream on his lips that didn't, however, make it out because he was still trapped in his nightmare and his lungs felt frozen. Looking around, he found himself in Sav's arms, in a room that he slowly began to remember as Sav's bedroom where they'd fallen asleep after making out. Sav wasn't moving, so Jani tried to lie still so as not to wake him while he tried to figure out if this was real or if he'd only moved on from one dream to another.

Eventually, he decided that he was awake. And possibly in trouble: Maybe the nightmare that had returned him to the day when he'd come to in the ICU of Kemi's hospital after succumbing to blood poisoning had been his subconscious' way of reminding him that he hadn't taken his antibiotics the night before when he'd conked out in Sav's arms. He'd better hurry to take them now or he'd risk having the infection flare up again.

"Sav," Jani whispered, "sorry, man, but can you let me go for a sec? I need the bathroom."

* * *

Somebody was struggling. Struggling to get away from him. Why? Sav wasn't the violent type, would never entrap someone against their will...

_"...need the bathroom."_

That got his attention. Part of the life of being a performer. Use the loo whenever the opportunity presents itself, forget pride; learn to hold your water and keep playing. No way was he going to get in the way of someone's freedom in that regard.

He'd been asleep, but the plea had awoken him. Sav jerked once, registered his own room, his own bed... Jani... As soon as his brain connected to his limbs, he loosened his hold and pulled his arms back. "Sorry!"

* * *

"No, no, don't apologise. I'll be right back," Jani assured Sav. He didn't want to get up, didn't want to leave the literal and figurative warmth of Sav's arms, but he told himself he'd only need a minute for a quick pee, his pills, and he should brush his teeth.

Getting up, he made for the door to the TV room, but returned to kiss Sav's cheek first. Smiling at his lover, he then left the room and found his suitcase right where he'd put it the night before. Rummaging for his wash bag, Jani froze when he found that his meds weren't in it.

Vittu! Where the hell...? Frowning, he realised that he must have forgotten to pack them. This was a problem. He went through his backpack in a vain hope that maybe he'd forgotten where he'd put the pills, but no.

"Um, Sav," Jani returned to the bedroom and spoke with his eyes cast down, "I have a little problem. I'm still on antibiotics for my hand and it looks as if I left my medication at home."

* * *

Medication? Sav sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Shit, he'd gone to sleep in contacts again. Jani hadn't said anything, but then why should he? In Helsinki, there'd been some kind of pills in his stuff, which he now confirmed were antibiotics. "Hm, I guess that's not good. Um. Are you in pain? In immediate danger? Sorry... no medical training." That was true, and Sav knew he really should do something about it, at least learn some basics. "Can it wait till morning?"

He swivelled his head around and squinted at the clock on the bedside table. The glowing red LED letters said 3:42, as close to the middle of the night as one could be.

* * *

Could it wait until morning? Jani had assumed that it was already morning. His internal clock must be completely off. "Sorry," he said. "I'm sure it can wait. I thought it was later." He thought for a moment. "I'll text Anni to look up the exact ingredient, but unless antibiotics are prescription-free in the UK, I'll probably need to see a doctor."

He sighed. "Sorry, I must have forgotten them when I left in the morning. It was too early for me to think very well." Jani smiled. "Also, I was, let's call it, distracted by the prospect of seeing you. So what is the time now? Should we go back to sleep?"

* * *

"Not quite four. Almost morning, especially in your time zone." Sav nodded and smiled when Jani declared he'd been distracted, and that it could wait till morning, which was only a few hours away.

"Once you know what's in your prescription, if you need to see a doctor, I'll call mine... if that's okay with you. I don't know what the clinic situation is like here in Sheffield but I don't want you to have to sit around in one all day." Frankly, Sav wasn't going to drop Jani off somewhere for an indeterminate time, and he wouldn't really be able to sit with him in a place like that. It wasn't the same thing as going out to eat or shopping.

"I need to take my contacts out," Sav admitted. "I won't be long." He shifted and dropped his legs over the edge of the bed. Blinking, he stood up and turned to Jani. "Do you need the bathroom first?"

* * *

"That'd be great. I don't want to waste time in a medical centre that I could spend with you." Jani smiled, relieved. "As for the bathroom, go ahead. Will your eyes be okay?" he asked anxiously, worried that he'd caused Sav discomfort.

"Um, and I should probably wash, so there's another reason why you can go first and give me a moment afterward. After travelling on a plane I always feel yucky. I mean, you weren't complaining earlier, but I want to clean up a bit."

* * *

"My eyes will be fine as soon as these come out, I've done this before. It's uncomfortable, but not dangerous. Thanks, though." Sav might have hugged Jani for his concern, but he'd said he felt 'yucky' and might not want the contact.

"Didn't notice anything, but travelling will do that. Canned air, hours amongst how many strangers... help yourself to whatever you need, Jani. There's wash cloths and towels and things in the cupboards beside the sinks. Unless you want help..." Sav smiled wryly. Chances were that he wasn't so fresh himself.

* * *

Jani laughed. _"Help_ being a euphemism for a quickie under the spray? Maybe later. For now I really and only want to clean up. Actually, though," he looked down, "I shouldn't say such things, like, later. As my ex would be happy to tell you, I'm not a great fan of shower sex. It might be different now that I'm with you but I've always preferred having sex not in the shower. I'm good with showering with you as I really like to have my back scrubbed and of course I'd do the same for you, but if we decided we want more, I'll probably want to go find a bed. Floor. Kitchen counter. Your Porsche's bonnet," he grinned. "I'm sure we can think of a few more, but I shouldn't keep you from taking out your contact lenses now."

* * *

Okay, Sav made a mental note. 'Jani does not like shower sex.' He wondered why, but decided not to ask. Chances were, till he saw a doctor and got new meds, Jani would be too preoccupied to want any kind of sex, anyway. "No problem, I get it... be right back."

In the bathroom, Sav peeled the sticky lenses off the surfaces of his eyes, put them in their case with solution, and let his eyes tear naturally for a minute. His glasses were in their usual place along the back of the counter – he really didn't have an officially place for them. The spare pair, slightly different frame, was in his tour luggage. Not wanting to think about it, Sav still knew that he'd soon be faced with packing for the next leg. Before that, he had to do the laundry he'd been putting off, and get some pieces of clothes to the cleaners.

Since they'd gone to sleep directly after sex, Sav found upon standing around fiddling with contacts that he needed to pee, and took care of that. If he did, likely Jani had to go, too. Though a shower actually sounded tempting, he could wait. He did, however, wash his hands and brush his teeth.

Once back in the bedroom, Sav crawled back under the covers, setting the glasses on the nightstand. "It's all yours," he said to Jani. "I'll try to wait for you, but I might fall asleep again. Still the middle of the night for me."

* * *

"I've been trying to get into a, well, what others would call 'normal' day rhythm, but I'm a night owl, so I'll probably fall asleep again, too," Jani said. "And if I don't, I'll just lay in bed with you and enjoy being there. Actually, I'd much rather lay awake and feel you close than sleep." He smiled.

"Um, if you're asleep when I return, can I, like, wiggle into your arms again?"

* * *

"Yeah, that's my natural bent, too – night owl." Sav stretched and rooted around, rearranging his pillow. "I hope you get some rest, but if you can't, you have the run of the place, including here with me. I'm sure that even asleep, I can be persuaded to hold you." He was pretty sure that the feel and scent of Jani would convince his sleeping mind to accommodate him.

* * *

"Okay, I'll be right back, but first..." For some reason, again Jani couldn't bring himself to leave the room without pecking Sav's cheek first. After accomplishing that little mission, he went to the bathroom. Peeing, washing his face – he'd shower later, he promised himself – and cleaning his teeth didn't take long and he returned to the bedroom only few minutes after he'd left.

It was dark in the room. Sav had said it was close to four in the morning. In Kemi, it would be light outside at four, but here it would take another while until the day began. The thought made Jani smile as he laid down on the bed, wondering if Sav was still awake. Maybe he'd better keep a little distance and not wake him up.

* * *

The construction and quality of materials in Sav's house were such that he couldn't hear any of whatever Jani was doing in the bathroom. Warm and happy, bemused with the whole idea of Jani here, so receptive to him, Sav closed his eyes and drifted. How did he get so lucky? Not just the sex, but that he found a guy who didn't seem to go for the usual male posturing and one-upmanship, although he had plenty of reason when it came to musical ability. And... so affectionate. He couldn't seem to leave a room without a kiss. Yet Sav didn't think Jani would carry that into the public eye, not now. Maybe far in the future, if they were more established and things changed in the world at large. Sav kind of doubted that too many Def Leppard fans would care if one of five of them revealed himself as bisexual. The women would see that as further opportunity to 'turn' him, and the men, other than a few dinosaurs, would ignore it and focus, as always, on the tracks from their first three albums.

It might be different for Jani, though. He was a lot younger, and Sav wondered what sort of competition existed between guitarists within his genre. Perhaps he'd need to keep his... relationship quiet to keep his edge, his cred. So what would happen if Sav started attending more of his gigs? People would notice that. Well, he could say, if asked, that he was simply a fan of the band and their music. It wasn't likely to happen soon, though, between him being on the road and Jani's service requirement. Even now, Sav was unsure how long that would last. A few months? A year? If it didn't come up again in conversation, he'd have to remember to look it up online.

A little while later, he heard the door open and then heard and felt Jani get back into bed. Without thinking about it, Sav moved closer and wrapped the younger man in his arms. He mimicked Jani's move and kissed his cheek, then his neck. "Better now?" he whispered.

* * *

_"Much_ better. Although it was already good to begin with." Jani sighed happily as he let his body relax against Sav's. "How am I going to live when you're on tour? I think I'm developing an addiction to Def Leppard's bassist. You should probably be glad that I've got, well, commitments in Finland. Otherwise you might soon discover that there'll be a red-headed hysterically-screeching fanboy in the front row for each of Leppard's gigs." He winked. "Which might still happen at a later time."

Jani yawned. "For now I'll take sleeping in your arms over watching you perform. I want to play with you later, though – music, that is, although..." He laughed. "I want to play with you. Period."

* * *

Sav nodded against the pillow. He couldn't resist the lead-in Jani set him up with. It was semi-ridiculous, surely brought on by overtiredness. "Screaming fanboy!" he giggled. "Hate to tell you, we've had a few of those who followed us around show to show for a while. Believe me, you outshine the lot. The rest of the audience might be a bit disappointed if I stay on one small area of the stage, so I can 'perform' for the red-haired fanboy and only him." Not to mention what his band would say! All of them were really careful not to pander to certain fans, but then, this was no ordinary fan, and they were just joking around.

"Your addiction, huh? I hear that... play, and play." He wasn't really planning on starting anything. The time! And Jani's meds. "Well, you know where to find the best toys." Sav pressed and wiggled his hips against Jani's lower half, surprised – he shouldn't have been – when his dick gave an interested twitch. "Oops! Sorry. You're right, though, we need to sleep." He moved his lower body away.

* * *

"Weellll," Jani said slyly, "about sleeping. There are people who claim that one sleeps better after sex. As in right after sex. I'm actually one of these people."

He'd spoken without thinking. "But if you're tired, we can always leave the sex for later."

* * *

"Oh yeah? Well then, let's bonk and pass out. I think I'm up for it...." Getting there. Sav reversed his move from a second before, aligning them, letting Jani feel exactly what the contact was doing to him – he was feeling the double rush of blood and whatever chemicals his body dumped into his bloodstream that demanded, "horny... sex... now!" Both of them still naked, Sav could feel some movement from Jani's side, as well. He knew what else might. From where it had rested in the middle of Jani's back, he drew his hand across Jani's flank and up his chest till he got to the little bud there and drew a circle around the border of it, watching it pull tight. "Like that?" he asked with a light pinch.

* * *

"Let's bonk and pass out?" Jani repeated and broke into giggles. "I love the way you put things into words. Do you also write Def Leppard's song lyrics? But no, you can tell me about that later. Right now I'm more interested in other things, like..." he gasped, _"...that."_

He was already half hard and the prospect of having his nipples played with brought a rush of blood to his groin. However... "Gently," Jani hissed. "I do like it rough when I'm, you know, very horny. Before that, like when we're making out, it can be too much. Not that I doubt I'll be very, very horny in a minute," he grinned. "Just take it a little easy on these," he glanced toward his chest, "until then. And since you've told me about your thighs being an, um, hot spot, which I enjoyed a lot, would you like me to give them some more love? Or do you maybe have more, other hot spots you'd like to tell me about?"

* * *

Okay, Sav made another mental note, this time to not be as rough to start with Jani's nipples. Either because he hadn't been so bruised – Sav's fault – or he had been "very, very horny" by the time they came into play, Sav's impression was that he liked hard pinches, nail scrapes and tugs unconditionally. Apparently not. He immediately backed off when Jani provided direction. Using both hands, he went as lightly as he could. His tongue would do better, but before he could move himself downward, Jani mentioned 'giving some love' to any of Sav's most sensitive parts.

"Oh gawd... me arse," he blurted, totally unfiltered. And then, his face glowing red in the dark, Sav amended, "Forget that, I'm a freak. I won't ask you for that. And I didn't wash when I was in there," meaning the bathroom, "dammit! Anything involving your hands or mouth on me is gonna work, I guarantee it. So, um, you mentioned experimenting on, what did you call them, my tiny tits?" The idea of Jani getting off on playing with them was more arousing than Sav thought it would be for him, physically, but it wouldn't hurt to try. "Would it bother you if I play with myself while you do it?"

* * *

If he were a cat he'd purr, Jani thought when Sav stroked his nipples lightly. "Oh gawd," he moaned instead, drunk with bliss. "Yes, that's... oh gawd, Sav, much better than sleeping!"

Listening as Sav elaborated on what he liked, Jani nodded and cringed at the same time: the suggestion of having his arse – which Jani translated to 'his hole' – licked was both arousing and scary. Remembering vaguely that that must have been what Sav had done to him – and felt incredible! – he wanted to give it a try, but Sav had a point, he wasn't too keen on licking his arse unless it was after a thorough wash.

"I don't think you're a freak," Jani said, meeting Sav's eyes. "I, well, I'd want to try that one day. After a shower. It's... I dunno how to say this, maybe... that's even more intimate than letting you fuck me... Not sure I'm ready for it... but... I want it. One day. As for now, sorry, could you... my English... Do you want to play with your nipples while I get to... it... below or do you mean you want to play with your dick while I suck your nipples? Either is fine with me," he hurried to reassure, "just not sure which you have in mind."

* * *

The change in intensity to his nipples left Jani a helpless, moaning mess. He was more than half hard, evident as he nudged up against Sav's groin. Every little surge of blood, every change to the heft of Jani's erection presented itself against its counterpart, which Sav slowly rutted against, vein to vein, as he thumbed and traced circles around the tight little peaks on Jani's chest. It was a thrill to feel that process of growth, and know Jani felt the same of him, how much he turned Sav on.

Neither of Sav's requests seemed to faze him too much. Jani turned his thoughts inward for a second, then he looked Sav in the eye and admitted candidly that the first was too much for him yet, to which Sav nodded. He was just relieved that Jani hadn't run away screaming in disgust. 'Intimate', yes, probably as much as two people could get unless one counted kissing with all its attached baggage. As he'd said, he was still a little freaked he'd actually asked.

"Your English is fine," Sav murmured, drawing spirals with his fingertips into centres of Jani's raised nubs, then outward again to include his pecs. "I'm not all that coherent about asking for what I want sometimes... I meant that I'd like you to play with my... tits. If you want." By way of demonstration, he moved his right hand down between them to his crotch and wrapped his hand around himself. "And then I proposed that I do this... but this..." he adjusted his position and his grip, so that he had both their dicks in his fist, though his fingers and thumb nowhere near touched and barely held the two of them, "seems like a better idea now. Mmm!"

Sav's hips rolled a little. The slide of his shaft alongside Jani's was delicious. It pulled at his foreskin a bit, and his balls hitched as they brushed against Jani's.

* * *

Shivering with delight, Jani wasn't sure if his brain caught everything Sav was telling him, but he trusted that he'd be reminded if he missed anything vital. He got that Sav was asking him to play with his nipples and broke into a smile. Yes, he wanted that, too. Even if Sav's nipples didn't turn out to be as sensitive as Jani's, they'd know and not have missed a chance at finding a new hot spot on Sav's body.

Then Sav moved his hand down and wrapped it around both their erections. Jani's eyes widened as he felt his dick pressed against Sav's and stroked by a firm hand. "I..." he hissed, "should probably help you with that..." He wiggled his right hand between their bodies and grasped their dicks from the other side.

"I like this," he moaned, "but I'm not sure how I can get at your nipples now. With my fingers, no problem, but I want to taste them, too."

* * *

"Ohhh... mmmm... feels good!" Sav moaned. If just his hand around them felt good, when Jani reached down and also wrapped his hand around both their dicks, Sav was in heaven. He'd already known Jani had strong fingers, which added pressure in unexpected ways. They were both rock-hard now, every little shift causing them to rub together, as well as within the tight tunnel of their hands. "I...I've never done this, two dicks two hands, before," he relayed, flicking his eyes down, then back to Jani's face, wide-eyed in the dimness. Just the look of intense, concentrated need, Jani's body moving with his, how hard he was in response to Sav touching him, it all made Sav a little more open to the idea of letting himself enjoy whatever Jani wanted to do to him next.

The double hand job, though... the thrusting gyrations they both made in the name of friction were instinctive, highly sexual. Hopefully, Jani understood that the strangled little hitches coming from Sav's throat expressed that he was very much into it. They could experiment some other day with coordinating their strokes; it might not be the time if Jani wanted to get his taste and feel of Sav's chest. Suddenly, he felt the urge to experience Jani's hot, wet little tongue lapping at his tight nubs. Even if it didn't have the same effect it did on Jani, it would feel nice. Really nice. Especially knowing who was doing it, and why.

"You do... whatever you want, whatever you feel," Sav managed to say, giving the bases of their full erections a squeeze. "We can always come back to this."

* * *

"I," Jani moaned, "am having a really _hard_ time deciding what I want." He thrust into their combined hands, pulling Sav's erection along as their dicks were mashed together so tightly that they were forced to move simultaneously. Or maybe it was Sav's dick that pulled Jani's along. Or they were so in synch that they moved together in any event; Jani smiled at the thought.

* * *

Sav's decision-making process was something like: more, everything, now! However, he'd found that one sometimes needed more hands and mouths than normal human anatomy equipped a person with.

Watching Jani thrust into their hands brought on another avalanche of nuclear-level heat to Sav's consciousness, and body. On one of the many Jani-Henkka 'battles' he'd watched, probably one of the first, he'd seen Jani make a similar move. It had given him a stiffy, although at the time, he'd not allowed himself to do anything about it other than wait for it to go down – and not watch that clip again.

Seeing it live, up close, Sav's guts were squirming with spikes of lust like he hadn't felt since he was a teen about to get laid for the first time. They moved together, his own hips mirroring the motion. He could feel Jani's dick leaking, a slippery coating to just part of the exposed head, could feel his own slick start to crawl up the inner workings. "I'm having a _hard_ time, too... Wanna come off – fuck! – like this. Still wanna feel your mouth on my chest. Wanna have you, take you... want everything!"

* * *

It appeared as if Sav couldn't make up his mind either. Since it was anatomically impossible for Jani to keep stroking them and at the same time reach Sav's chest with his mouth, he had to make a decision. Yearning to taste Sav and find out if his nipples were more sensitive than Sav assumed, Jani wanted to be able to focus while he did it. He wanted to register each and every breath and shiver as he intended to lick and suck, maybe pinch the pink nubs. What with the incredible stimulation their joined hands gave their dicks, however, Jani was already too aroused to be able to give Sav's chest the attention it deserved. The decision was thus an easy one.

"You'll have my mouth later, promise," Jani gasped. "For now, compromise..." He was getting too breathless to explain, so he put his free hand on Sav's chest and circled a nipple with his index finger before rubbing lightly over the stiffening peak.

* * *

Assuming he'd feel very little, Sav jerked when Jani's fingers on his nipple sent a shock through him. The little peak stiffened, which, though it was much smaller than his dick, almost felt like getting an erection. He gasped, and where his own free hand had gone slack on Jani's chest, picked up circling the raised bumps, then inward, and rubbing lightly. Maybe it was because he was so aroused, that he responded to that sort of stimulation. "I don't understand. It... I've..." Sav mused, almost to himself. He'd ponder it later.

For now, he let it build, the tension and need. He thought about asking Jani to pinch harder, but decided not to; it was possible that Jani was treating Sav to what he himself wanted, and Sav was definitely interested in learning. When a light pinch was delivered, he did the same. Same when Jani caught the inner peak and tugged, again gently. The first pearl of precome welled up, and Sav moaned, trying not to interrupt the rhythm they'd established below. His balls felt swollen, tight, and below where their hands fisted their dicks he could feel Jani's balls, too, ascending to rest against Sav's.

"Jani... I could come from this!" As if that weren't obvious. "So many things I wanna do with you, it's hard to choose." Sav leaned forward enough to kiss Jani's lips lightly, sweetly. Hoping Jani was 'very turned on' by now, he pinched the bit of flesh in his fingers a little harder.

* * *

Jani continued to rub Sav's nipple gently and Sav reciprocated, mirroring everything Jani did to him and from what he said – and the sounds he was making confirmed it – he was enjoying it, too. Beginning to treat the nub in his fingers a little more harshly, Jani delighted when Sav reacted immediately. Hoping that Sav got off on this as much as he did, he began to speed up their stroking.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one who found this highly arousing: Jani gasped when Sav told him he could come from 'this'. Although he wasn't sure if Sav meant the hands on their dicks or nipples, or both, he nodded. Hard to choose, so many things he wanted to do. Just as Jani was about to open his mouth and tell Sav that he felt the same, Sav kissed him, very gently, and contrasted the kiss with a sharp pinch of Jani's nipple, making him cry out hoarsely.

Oh god yes, it hurt so good! But would Sav want him to do the same? If Sav wouldn't like it, this could put an end to what they were doing right now, so Jani decided it was better to ask.

"Sav," he moaned, "should I... nhh... do you want me to... more...?" Barely able to speak, Jani could only hope that Sav understood what he was asking.

* * *

More... Sav wasn't one hundred percent sure what Jani meant but he'd take more of what they'd been doing. He interpreted this as asking if Jani could pinch harder, which was more than fine. "Yes, more... harder!" he choked out. He wanted whatever Jani would give him, do to him, and if Jani's reaction had anything to say about it, he was ready for rougher play.

Jani's hand wrapped around their dicks sped up, which, being closer to the heads provided incredible stimulation to the squished-together veins and their nerve-laden frenulum areas. Moaning with the need to feel those fingers banded around him, Sav pushed into their hands, and tugged sharply on Jani's nipple. They were forced to lie face to face without twining their legs or putting their arms around each other, it was beginning to drive him mad. He kissed Jani again, licked his lower lip.

* * *

Sav's response made Jani's heart – and balls – surge. He tugged on the tiny tit in his fingers a little harder and moaned loudly when Sav immediately did the same to him.

"This... yes... more... harder... so good... Sav..." Grunts and groans interspersed his words; Jani didn't care. He knew that Sav understood – although the bassist's brain must be as useless as Jani's, at least Sav's blown pupils and his moans suggested it.

The pinches on his sensitised nipples and their combined hands working them hard and fast brought Jani closer and closer to the brink, while Sav's gentle kisses made him feel not only incredibly hot and horny but also loved, cherished. If such a thing as heaven on earth existed, this was it.

"C-close..." Jani moaned. "Want you to – _nnhh!_ – come with me! Please, Sav, come with me?"

* * *

The more excited he got, the more Jani babbled, a word or two at a time, groaning, panting, his eyes wild and his body bucking. Sav loved it, the power of Jani's movements, the pure sex of them, and though still limited by their positioning, the ability to bring him to this state of sheer abandon.

Not to mention, what it felt like! Since this had begun between them, he had been thrilled at Jani's nipples being so incredibly sensitive, like the man had been born for Sav to show him the zenith of pleasure he could wring from his own body. Now Jani was returning the favour with the dual hand job along with pulling at Sav's nipple, the two things together almost unbearable, in the best of ways. He followed the animalistic humping, arching his back almost like he was sticking his chest out in Jani's direction for better access.

Sav fell into his familiar porn-y litany. "Yeah.... fuck... good, Jani, so good... wanna come, wanna come with you..." He knew he was was close, but he hadn't thought he was _that_ close till Jani's urgent plea threw him over the edge. Possibly a reflex, he pinched Jani's bruised little bud harder than before as the wall holding back his flood crumbled. "Yes, together! Do it, Jani... nooooowww..." He could feel the unmistakable pulses of Jani about to shoot – Sav was there, thrusting his dick and his love and his cream through their hands, and between them. "Yes, oh gawd Jani yes..."

* * *

"S-sav..." Jani felt his vision fade as his eyes rolled back. Two more strokes, one, there, right there – _now!_ He hissed and moaned as his dick erupted under his and Sav's strokes and he felt the vein on Sav's erection throb against his as they both pumped out their seed in long strands.

"I... fuck, Sav..."

* * *

They went off almost simultaneously, the two of them together creating a warm, thick fluid mess between them. Jani moaned so loud and his eyes fluttered and rolled back, like he was in pain, that if Sav wasn't intimately involved he'd have been concerned, but unless it was pleasure so intense it hurt, which Jani had hinted at, it was all good duress.

When he blurted Sav's name, still coming, still spurting like Sav himself, it was as if someone had shocked Sav's glands into another miniature explosion. "Jani...! Gaaaawwd!" he moaned. Their bodies shuddered and jerked; finally, Sav was able to throw a leg over Jani's hip and pull him in closer. "I... I know..." he whispered. "Let it all out, all your seed, all your love."

* * *

As always, ever since he'd first been with Sav, Jani came so hard that he could only collapse in Sav's arms, limp and boneless after giving all he had. Sav whispered to him to let it all out, his seed, his love, and Jani nodded, his strong emotions bringing him close to crying. Sav grounded him with wrapping a leg over his hip and pulling him closer.

"I... Sav... jus' hold me for a sec?"

* * *

Sav wasn't the only one who was shaky from the intensity. "Mm-hmn," he hummed, hoping he could soothe Jani's overtaxed system. This wasn't the first time he'd needed to be held; it was one of the things about him that drew Sav to him. Sav also let go of their depleted male bits very gently, and wound his arms around Jani's rib cage, one above, and one that he slid under Jani's arm, below. He did as he was asked, and as he wanted to do, held Jani to his – sticky, panting – chest, rocking slightly. "There, lad..."

* * *

It was weird. After having sex with his – former – girlfriends or... other women... Jani had always shut down his emotions. It was often the women who craved attention while he usually just wanted to be left alone in his post-orgasmic bliss... Well, no, that wasn't totally right, as he had to admit. He didn't mind cuddling and being close, but many of his lays couldn't stop talking, which, to put it mildly, wasn't welcome in that situation.

What he was now experiencing with Sav was unexpected: Jani wasn't used to feeling needy – emotionally needy, not sexually; the latter was part of his everyday life as it should be for a healthy young male. What was even more surprising for him was that he didn't feel ashamed to admit it, that he found it in himself without feeling weak and unmanly for it to be open about, that he could and did ask Sav to hold him while the intensity of what they'd just shared ebbed down. Likewise, that Sav reacted the way he did by pulling Jani close and holding him as if it were nothing – and yet it was everything.

"Mmmh..." Jani whispered as he rubbed his nose against Sav's neck. "Thank you for having me. For letting me have... this."

* * *

"Welcome... and thank you, too," Sav whispered. Jani, having recovered his ability to speak, must be feeling less vulnerable overall now. He ran a hand down Jani's back a few times, sort of petting his hair. Sleep was going to overtake him again soon. He didn't feel the need to announce it – Jani felt heavier in his arms, chances were, he was also nearly out.

* * *

"I should probably get up and fetch a cloth to clean us up," Jani murmured. "I don't think I want to move, though." He sighed happily when Sav petted his hair. Then Sav's hand stilled and his breathing softened.

He should probably feel guilty for having the sleeping Sav as an excuse to not get up, but Jani decided that he was too tired to care. It was the middle of the night and he felt heavy from sex and warm in Sav's arms. There was no place on earth where he'd rather be. For once, Jani wasn't worrying about anything when he let himself drift off into sleep.

* * *


	2. Breakfast in bed

* * *

Several hours later, based on the sliver of sun that had found its way through a crack in the curtains, Sav awoke gradually. He became aware of there being another person in bed with him... Jani! Then, that he was starving! They hadn't eaten anything but coffee and biscuits the night before. The usual morning annoyances: had to pee, morning wood, morning breath... and he was sticky. That wasn't too typical anymore; although Sav wouldn't say he never had a wet dream, they were rare when one was 45.

Then he remembered their... activities from the night before, and the early morning. Jeez! Maybe he needed to check his ceiling for white stuff. Sav smothered a laugh. Their dual-hand session and the emotional fallout had been... intense, and explained the dried glue-like coating all over his front from neck to groin. That wasn't like him, not to wash and especially not to clean up his partner or at least offer the means.

He wouldn't have minded staying in the warm nest a while longer, but he really had to piss. The coffee from the night before must have caught up with him. No reason Jani shouldn't sleep on, though. Sav got the idea that he rarely got enough sleep, certainly not since before the impromptu meet-up in Helsinki. He stretched, got up, and padded to bathroom. Maybe he'd make Jani breakfast in bed, assuming he slept through Sav cleaning up and cooking.

* * *

Something was tugging at his groin. When the tugging stopped, Jani opened his eyes to darkness and frowned: it was August, which meant it never got dark since he didn't have thick curtains in his room at home. The fabric of the sheets was too soft for a hotel and the lingering scent...

Sav! He was at Sav's place. The space next to him was empty but still warm, so Sav must be around, probably in the bathroom. Jani smiled and closed his eyes again. Sav would be back in a moment...

* * *

The morning ritual didn't take too long. Freshly showered and shaved, Sav put his contacts in but couldn't get dressed because he hadn't thought about clothes. It wasn't that he was modest, far from it. Mainly, he didn't want to wake Jani. He could have settled for wearing a bathrobe, but the tile and stone floors, even the wood floors, were cold in the morning and he'd at least want socks. Really, he preferred normal clothes. Alright, he'd just have to be quiet.

Flipping off the light switch next to the door that connected the bathroom to the bedroom, Sav waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. It was darker in the bedroom and pretty much reeked of sex. He could make out the bed and Jani's form in it, mainly thanks to the reddish banner of his hair as a landmark. Still naked, he opened the door to the walk-in closet, stepped inside, and opened the sock drawer in the built-in dresser. Most of his socks were black or white, but there were a few navy, brown, and purple. Hopefully whatever he picked in near-darkness wouldn't be too garish.

The next drawer over was underwear. Oh right. Oh god. Sav tensed and balled his hands into fists, fighting the urge to go wake Jani up and ask him to play in some of the items in this drawer... did he still have that fucking black banana hammock from the old days? Probably moth-eaten by now. What was...? Oh crap! He should have got rid of his last ex's cast-offs. At the back of the drawer there were three pairs of knickers, all silk, all expensive as hell French couture, he ought to know since he'd paid for them. It wasn't fond memories of the woman – or any woman – making his dick rise, but the thought of Jani in them. Maybe he was a sick puppy. And besides, he'd probably have the same reaction if Jani put on his baggiest striped old-man boxers. Fine. He was a freak. Sav had said the same of himself last night when he'd blurted that he wanted Jani to rim him sometime. For a second, he seriously considered wearing a pair of those ladies' pants but decided not to. He'd have to do some rather aggressive manscaping first.

Sav tossed the skimpy silk and lace pants back in the drawer and put on a pair of briefs of the same brand that Jani had 'borrowed'. Once again, the thought didn't help the situation. He tried to will it away with thoughts of the dead mice – or not so dead – he used to find in the house for the first year, his next tax bill, blood sausages, which he couldn't stand to look at much less eat. OK, hungry or not, that did the trick. Sav finished dressing in sweatpants and his vintage T-Rex t-shirt, sleeves cut off.

Talk about being in the closet for too long. Sav was at the point hunger-wise that he was beginning to feel nauseous. It was only a phase, but he'd best get moving. Steak and eggs sounded perfect. Toast and jam, fried tomatoes. He would have to see if there were any of the traditional canned beans. He'd already gone off English breakfast by substituting steak for sausage and bacon. So no biggie. Coffee, of course, another – necessary – break in tradition. He sneaked a look in Jani's direction as he headed for the door to the upstairs hallway.

* * *

When Jani woke again, he remembered where he was. He was still alone in the bed but he wasn't worried that Sav wasn't there with him. Remembering that he needed to get a prescription for his antibiotics, Jani sent a quick text to Anni and asked that she mail him the exact name and ingredient list of his pills.

With that accomplished, he wondered if he should go look for Sav or sleep some more. Sav would no doubt return to the bedroom sooner or later, and Jani was still incredibly tired, so the pull of the bed won. He managed a quick trip to the bathroom first, though, where he washed and cleaned his teeth.

* * *

It hadn't been more than a few short months, before tour rehearsals began, that Sav had cooked in his own kitchen, but it seemed like a long time. He took out some frying pans, found the various food items he'd planned, and got to work. As luck would have it, he found a tray large enough to carry plates, cups, and silverware for two people in the pantry. The actual cooking didn't take long, after he'd lined everything up. He poured them each an orange juice, made coffees, and pocketed some napkins.

Then Sav was faced with another problem: how to carry the full tray without spilling. He'd never had any type of waiter or bartender job. And he'd have to go up the staircase. Suddenly the task was daunting. Well, he could do it! The alternative was cold food, or rousting Jani out of bed and he'd already made up his mind he was serving breakfast in bed. 'So there!' he told the tray, or rather, himself. Sav doubted he'd ever moved that carefully, or rather, not in relation to carrying food, but he made it to the bottom of the stairs. He'd been carrying the tray out in front of him with both hands; that would never work. Like he'd seen countless waiters and waitresses do, he hoisted it up over his – left – shoulder and used the right hand on the banister. The stairs were endless! Some of the coffee had splashed, he'd take that plate, but he managed to avoid total disaster.

Finally! He entered the room, turning on the overhead light. Jani was still in bed but he rolled over and squinted. "Breakfast is served," Sav announced, grinning widely. Then his balance threatened when he started to move the tray to the bed. He didn't want to ask for assistance but it was either that or an upside-down breakfast on the floor. "Little help here, please?"

* * *

Muffled noises wound themselves into his dream, and he identified footsteps. Jani opened his eyes and blinked because it was so bright; he must have fallen into deep sleep again... no, wait, it was electric light... His eyes accommodated and widened when they fell onto another source of light – Jani winced at the bad pun his brain had just provided, but to him, Sav shone like a beacon for his heart... _Pull yourself together,_ he told himself. Maybe he should keep the words in mind for cheesy lyrics... Not now.

Not when Sav was approaching the bed carrying what looked like... He jumped off the bed, avoiding getting his feet tangled in the sheets at at the last possible moment, and helped Sav set the tray down. When he saw the contents, Jani blinked again. This was... breakfast, but in reality, it was so much more!

"I don't deserve this," he blurted out before he could catch himself. "I don't deserve you!"

* * *

Jani managed to get up and grab one edge of the tray before anything started to slide, and together they set it down. Expecting something like, "It looks good, thanks," Sav instead got what he took as a recurrence of Jani's insecurities, that he didn't "deserve" it, the food, or "you", namely Sav. All this while Jani was standing naked by the bed, eying him plaintively when he wasn't looking at the floor. He would address it, but not till they were more comfortable.

Pulling the covers back, Sav sat on the edge of the bed next to one side of the tray. "Have a seat, Jani. Don't give me any bullshit more about 'deserve', either. You were hungry last night and we skipped dinner," he leered. "If you don't deserve this food," Sav waved a hand over the steam, which was making his mouth water, "then neither do I. Don't I deserve to eat? Hm? Tell me that!"

Deliberately, he picked up a plate, stabbed a piece of egg and stuffed it in his face. "Mmmm!" he let his eyes roll back and spoke with his mouth full. "It's damned good."

* * *

"You're right. I'm sorry. I'll keep my mouth shut," Jani said stiffly. "Except for eating, of course. And just for the record, I never said you don't deserve to eat." Suddenly, he was aware that unlike Sav, he was naked – which had never bothered him with Sav, but now he felt... exposed. "Give me a sec, I'll be right back."

He still hadn't unpacked his clothes, so Jani took his small suitcase with him to the bathroom where he peed again and washed his hands. Although he'd decided that he'd spend the time with Sav wearing sweat pants he should wear his jeans for the doctor's visit later. For now, however, Jani wanted comfortable clothes. Not bothering with underwear, he donned black sweatpants and a Stratovarius t-shirt. Some stubble had grown overnight, which he hated, so he shaved. It didn't exactly improve his features but he still felt better for it.

"So," Jani began when he finally left the bathroom, his face and voice carefully neutral, "this is the famous English breakfast, then?"

* * *

Well, fuck. Instead of telling him off or laughing at him, which was what Sav would have got from his band or his immediate family, Jani got all frosty and removed himself from the room. Immediately, Sav's mind went on endless loops of what he should have said, and how Jani might have reacted instead, and what he should say next if – when – Jani reappeared.

Now Sav didn't feel much like eating, though he hadn't had more than three bites and he didn't like to waste good food. He was going to have to stop with the sarcasm. It seemed not to translate, or maybe Jani just had no liking for it. What was taking him so long? Was he playing the nervous bride or something? What an idea. Jani had taken his suitcase in there so he must be getting dressed, which made sense, but what if he decided to bolt? Then Sav felt even more annoyed at himself. He needed to give Jani more credit than that.

Eventually Jani showed up and Sav smiled up at him. He asked a neutral question about the breakfast, which Sav decided to take at face value. "Yes and no," he answered. "The eggs, tomato, toast and jam is. You usually get beans with it but I seem to be out of them. The traditional version has different kinds of sausages and bacon, I made up the steaks instead. Your coffee's the caramel stuff." He pointed.

Maybe he should leave it alone, but Sav was determined to try to clear the air. "I'm not angry, or anything you know. I just... " he sighed and shifted his butt. "In Milan, I can remember wondering how you were raised, like in a commune or some kind of religious sect where you weren't allowed to want things things for yourself. I know you weren't, now. But it bothers me, that anyone – unless they're a truly awful person, would think they shouldn't have someone special in their life. And you're not. Far from it." Sav had no idea if any of this was even registering. It was only his opinion, and he was well aware of the expression about what opinions were like. But he had a little more to say. "'Deserve', that's a loaded word for me. 'Cuz...do I deserve this life? Did I deserve to get Bell's? Is that my payment for all this? You were probably just playing around and it scraped a nerve... I didn't mean to be a bitch about it."

Why couldn't he shut up? Sav cut a bite of steak. He'd seasoned them enough in the pan it didn't need more salt. He'd come to like a certain brand of sauce for it while he was in the States, and wished he had some. He had never asked Jani how he liked it cooked. It had rested on the plate long enough, it was medium or so in the middle. Enough about the meat! He told himself sternly, and almost giggled. It would have been out of place. He'd probably said too much, but it was out now. "Um, do you need anything? Salt, pepper, sugar, I dunno..."

* * *

Of course, Sav wouldn't leave it alone. After answering Jani's question about the food, the bassist returned to Jani's earlier comment. Jani wasn't sure if Sav expected a reply to his questions whether he deserved his life or being struck by the Bell's. Since opening his mouth had got him into this situation in the first place, he decided to keep it shut. Besides, he'd already pointed out that he'd never said that Sav didn't deserve to eat – he hadn't said _anything_ about Sav not deserving anything, but apparently Sav took the remark Jani had already apologised for as blank invitation to interpret it such that Jani thought Sav didn't deserve anything.

It felt like a déjà-vu with each and everyone of his girlfriends. From years of experience, Jani knew that whatever he said now would only serve to make matters worse. Not saying anything fell into that category, too, but had the distinct advantage that refusing to discuss altogether would save him the trouble of thinking about it.

"Thanks, but you seasoned everything exactly the way I like it," he said after sampling a piece of everything he found on his plate. So even though he didn't deserve being treated like a king he would hurt Sav if he didn't enjoy the food. Also, Sav had a point: Jani was ravenous. "It's perfect," he added, "and not just because I'm starving." He smiled fondly. "Thank you so much for making this."

The expression on Sav's face suggested hat he wasn't buying it although Jani's smile was genuine. Jani sighed. "Listen, I... Can we forget that I said... that?" He looked down. "I don't want to talk about it."

* * *

They weren't... fighting. Per se. So why did it feel that way? Sav wondered how far he could push it. Some people were gifted in reading signals, some weren't. Unfortunately, Sav was only too aware that his skills were remedial in that area and unlikely to improve at his age. Perhaps Jani thought Sav was lecturing him. That was not the idea. It had been an attempt to draw him out, but it had the opposite effect.

"You're welcome... I'm happy that you like it," Sav replied a little belatedly, in reference to the food. "It turned out quite well today. There's a saying: 'Hunger is the best seasoning', or something like that. I've also heard spice and sauce in place of seasoning. Maybe you have a similar expression." Not that he'd remember it. Less than a day later, Sav realized that if he tried to repeat 'l love you' in Finnish, he would probably botch it.

Unlike before, he waited till he'd chewed and swallowed before answering. "Maybe we can politely ignore my perpetual hoof-in-mouth problem, too, then," Sav replied on the other matter, with a little half-smile. "You don't have to talk about it." He wanted to say that neither one of them was going to forget about it, and that Jani should think about it whether he wanted to or not. That would just be overkill. There had to be ways, unspoken ways, for him to show Jani that he 'deserved ' as much good as anyone did.

"Did you hear back from your ex about your medication?" Taking care of that seemed like the next logical course of action. "I'll call my GP either way, after breakfast."

* * *

Jani didn't understand the reference to spice and sauce, nor did he understand what Sav meant by his hoof-in-mouth problem. However, for the sake of peace he was ready to agree to anything Sav asked for. If he read the other man right, it meant that his plea was acknowledged, too. Thus when Sav changed topic and asked if Jani had heard back from Anni, he didn't complain. This would probably come back to haunt him again later – it always did – but for now he smiled and took his phone from the nightstand where he'd left it earlier. "Yes, she took a picture of the instructions, including the ingredient's name and dosage. I hope that's enough. Otherwise I can always call the hospital and put your doctor on. Most people in Finland speak English to a degree, so I'm sure it can be figured out."

He sat on the bed again and returned his attention to his plate. "First things first, though. Another half hour shouldn't make a difference and I'm not missing this breakfast."

* * *

Sav nodded at the mention of the necessary prescription information coming through. He didn't want Jani to have to call Finland, not to speak to anyone in an 'official' position, even medical. If they found out he was out of the country... hopefully whatever antibiotic he was taking was available in the UK. "Good," was all he said. One never knew for sure, but Sav should be able to trust his GP – he'd been seeing him for over a decade.

After that he concentrated on finishing his meal, keeping an eye on Jani.

* * *

Sav continued to watch him but Jani shrugged it off as he focused on breakfast. Jani may not deserve the effort Sav put into making it, but Sav deserved that Jani gave it his full appreciation – which wasn't hard as the food was delicious.

When he'd emptied his plate, he patted his full belly and groaned. "I'm afraid I'll be useless for dessert of the sexual kind for a while. Is your GP far from here? Maybe we could take a walk."

* * *

Sav hadn't called the practice yet, which he reminded Jani, saying he'd call immediately after this. "It's not too far, I picked him partially because he's in the neighbourhood. A little more than a mile... so 2 kilometres-ish. Sure you want to chance meeting the crazy chicks?" he grinned. Well, hadn't yesterday proved that could happen on his own property?

* * *

Jani frowned. Two kilometres wasn't far, but meeting fans that Sav described as crazy didn't sound very appealing – he'd met his share of 'crazy' fans, but he was used to being mostly left in peace in Finland and especially in his home town. That this wasn't the case for Sav made him sad for his friend.

"If they're your fans they won't know who I am, but they'll be after you. So I should probably leave that decision to you," Jani said. As an afterthought, he added, "Walking is fine with me, though."

* * *

"OK, let's try walking then. We'll have phones. I'm not scared of them, they're harmless... it just gets tiresome. Know what I mean...?" Sav had to assume that in ten years of being in bands, Jani had had some experiences with fans who, as he'd put it before, didn't want to stay on their side of the line.

Time to move. He stood up and reached for the empty dishes, and groaned. "A walk will do me good, too. No sex right now for me, either; I'd probably cramp and fart all the way through it and fall asleep before the happy ending." Looking sideways at Jani, Sav held his breath. So far, they at least hadn't miscommunicated about sex. Well, no, not entirely true, but not after they'd been together. He set his own plate, mug and silverware on the tray, then reached for Jani's plate.

* * *

"Walking it is, then. As long as you're okay with it. And as for sex..." Jani laughed. "I wouldn't even notice if you cramped and farted as I'm afraid I'd fall asleep before we even started having sex. Seriously, I don't think I've eaten so much in a long time, especially not something as delicious. Thank you again. I'm offering to pay you back with sexual favours, provided that you give me time to digest first." He winked. "Unless you'd rather have me do the washing up, of course."

* * *

Relieved but also confused, Sav laughed along with Jani. Sex was still a safe topic but not Jani's perception of what good things he might 'deserve' to have in his life? He put it aside for the time being, with two final thoughts. First, he would wait Jani out. It would come up again – it wasn't the first time today, and maybe Sav had reacted as he had because he wanted to put a stop to the destructive thinking, not that it had worked to say the least. Second, when it did show its face, he was going to let Jani lead any such discussion.

"I wouldn't be much of a good host if I asked for payment," he said lightly. "If you're offering, though, I left the kitchen kind of a mess. We can work on cleaning it up together." Sav finished putting the dirty dishes on the tray. "Just a second, I'll call my GP now."

Taking his phone from his pocket, Sav scrolled through his contacts, found the listing, and waited for the call to go through. The receptionist listened to his introduction of who he was, and what he needed – for his 'friend' to get an emergency refill of a medication left behind when travelling. After putting him on hold, she came back with the news that she'd been able to set an appointment for just after their lunch hour. Sav confirmed and rang off. "Good news. You probably heard, but there's an appointment available at 13:30, and I said we'd take it. Sound alright?"

* * *

"I take it that you'll also accept it if I offer sex later when it isn't meant as payment," Jani winked. "And I'll be happy to help clean the kitchen with you. I want to do everything with you. Find out how you live and share it." Good, apparently he'd succeeded in burying the previous topic. If it was up to Jani, it would stay buried once and forever.

Then Sav called his doctor. "Yes, sure," Jani replied immediately when asked if the early afternoon appointment suited him. The sooner, the better. If he got his meds right after the appointment, it would be almost 36 hours since his last dose where it should have been 12. Hopefully, the break wasn't too long. He was still on antibiotics mainly as a preventive measure, but what if the infection flared up again? He'd almost died from it. Trust his luck that if his finger turned bad again it would be here and now, when he wasn't allowed to leave the country and when he wanted to seize the last opportunity he and Sav had at being together for a long time to come. Jani tensed.

* * *

"Cool... I know... the house, the car... I was pretty impressed with what money could buy when I first got a big cheque," Sav replied, if somewhat round-about. "These days, I live as normal as I can when I'm here. There's no such thing on the road or all the 'events' we have to do. Here, I relish the quiet. Even housework. Especially if you're helping," he finished with a smile. "As for sex, that should always be of free will. It's the only way..."

Sav noticed Jani had tuned him out, and looked tense, maybe even like he was sweating. He trailed off his sentence. Was it something he'd said again? "What is it? Are you alright?"

* * *

Jani smiled nervously. "I'll feel better once your doctor confirms that missing out on my meds for a day hasn't done me any harm. Sorry, that was just stupid of me to forget the pills at home." He sighed. "So, maybe not totally alright, but I'll be. By the way, I've completely lost track of time. How late is it? When do we have to leave? I think that after last night I should probably shower before going among people."

* * *

"It's," Sav checked his watch, "10:55. You have time to shower. We should be able to walk to my GP's in what? Forty-five minutes, an hour if we're still stuffed in another little while? I'm sure you'll be fine. If you need to play catch-up, no doubt he can set up with something stronger."

As for the other matter. "Yeah, I'd advise a shower, although if there was a way to manufacture that scent on you as an aphrodisiac, you could be rolling in money." Sav chuckled. "I'll be downstairs when you're finished."

* * *

"I seriously doubt that," Jani said dryly when Sav suggested that bottling his scent could bring a fortune. "Feel free to sniff me any time you want, though. I won't charge you for it," he winked. "But yes, shower it is. So, last chance for you to catch a whiff, although I have no doubt that we'll find some activity to engage in later that'll restore my personal brand of reek," he leered.

"Okay. I'll find you after showering. Should I take my phone, just in case, to make sure I don't get lost? Somehow we never finished the tour last night." He smiled.

* * *

"I suppose I could sniff you like the police dog did to me yesterday, ha!" Wanting to avoid the word 'bitch' even in that context, he quickly moved on. Lucky for him, Jani had provided more material to latch on to, that Sav had to laugh at. "'If you get lost', very funny. Just call out if you do, and I'll come find you. Does your phone have GPS? We could set it for each important room..."

He picked up the tray of dishes. "I'll leave you to it. And I _will_ be thinking about you wet and naked, make no mistake... once I make it safely down the stairs."

* * *

"Um," Jani felt himself blush again. "I, uh, actually... I find that... your... scent... quite arousing. When I... licked you..." Why was it so hard to admit this? "So, yes, well. Unless you want me to give you a hand with those dishes..." Perhana, there was another unintentional pun. "I mean if I should help you carrying these. If not I think I'll go have that shower now."

* * *

It was cute, Jani blushing and stammering. If not for the combined over-full belly and need to make sure that Jani be seen by the doctor, Sav might have suggested he 'help' Jani shower. Instead, he giggled in delight of Jani's reaction, because he could picture where the young man's mind was at this second. That Jani had been aroused by the air he'd been... exposed to warmed Sav. Though he had said he 'wasn't disgusted' by Sav's taste, admitting to being turned on by his most personal pheromones was another matter, it seemed.

"Not, it's fine, I've got them," Sav replied, about the dishes. "Find me when you're done in the shower... and no playing with yourself!" He faked a stern, no-nonsense, disciplinarian look for half a second before another snort of laughter escaped. Was Jani trying to start something? They'd agreed they were too stuffed. Unable to stop himself, Sav eyed Jani's crotch but he wasn't... nope. OK, get moving! he told himself. The dishes and the kitchen weren't going to clean themselves.

* * *

Sav said he needn't help with the dishes, so Jani went to the bathroom. Shaving again, showering, and cleaning his teeth didn't take long. He dressed, deciding to wear his sweat pants for now and change into jeans later when they'd leave for the doctor's office, then found the kitchen without difficulties.

"Okay, I'm clean and I didn't play with myself," Jani smiled at Sav. "It would be a waste when I've got you to play with. I'm tempted but still too stuffed. How about some other, um, carnal pleasures before we have to leave, like another cup of coffee?"

* * *

Yes, he'd left a mess. From what he gathered, it was sort of a blokish thing to be a tornado in the kitchen... if one cooked at all. Sav had almost finished washing the dishes when Jani showed up, dressed and hair wet from the shower. He looked like it had done him some good.

Sav smiled in return. "I'll make us coffees as soon as I'm done with the last of these pans." He supposed he should explain why he was hand-washing when he had a perfectly good dishwasher. "These are stainless steel, the knives are... I forget what but high-end. If I'm going to indulge myself with this shit, I'm determined to take proper care of it."

The he returned to the other thought. "Coffee's a carnal pleasure, huh...? Well, I do appreciate a tasty dose of caffeine, but I don't think I've ever got wood from it. Have you?" he leered. "Just kidding. Um. Music will do that to me sometimes. Sorry!" he snorted, shaking his head. "The things I say around you."

* * *

"Sorry, my English," Jani sighed. 'Carnal' meant flesh, at least that was what he'd learned, but apparently, it didn't include the stomach. "And no, I, um, sometimes get wood from unexpected things but so far never from coffee... But you needn't make the coffee. Maybe you could just show me how your machine works, then I can do it."

He felt uncomfortable by the prospect of Sav serving him again. Sav was already doing so much for him. Jani couldn't cook and he needed Sav's help with his medication, and he had no problems to accept – and appreciate – Sav's support. However, when it came to tasks he could very well do on his own, Jani thought they should share the work.

* * *

Oops. He'd better explain. "No need to apologise... I probably learned different from you, blame the church confirmation classes my parents made me attend. In that language, carnal does mean flesh, as in sex." Sav squinched up his face. "Obviously, I ignored that lesson!"

If Jani preferred to avail himself of the coffee maker, that was all good. Other than his basses and rig, which he of course let his tech and bandmates handle, Sav was not the "don't touch my things" type. "It's easy, just take out the used pod, pop in another, and hit start. It may need more water." He wasn't sure.

* * *

"You're right, I shouldn't apologise for my English," Jani said after thinking for moment. There were a lot of things he was – and rightfully so – sorry for, but this was different. "Or Latin, for that matter," he winked. "What I should do instead is listen closely to you when you speak and learn from you. I mean, I speak English with a lot of people but most of them aren't native speakers. I'd offer to return the favour with Finnish," Jani laughed. "Joking. I could tell you swearwords, though. Finnish is a great language for profanities."

He went to the coffee-maker and scrutinised it. "Lid opens here, I guess." Jani pressed down on the lid and found his guess confirmed when it opened. He took out the used pod and put in a fresh one. The LED below the start button was blinking rapidly and when he pushed the button nothing happened, so Sav was probably right that it needed water. Figuring out where the water went took only a few seconds, and less than a minute after he'd filled the tank, he had a mug full of caramel coffee in his hand. He offered it to Sav.

"Apparently, this is the only, well, carnal or not, pleasure I can offer at the moment." Jani laughed.

* * *

"Oh yeah? Like Per... Perkele?" Sav knew his pronunciation sucked. "I remember that one. What else can I learn, to add to my vocabulary of profanity? I know your fellatio is decent," he winked; if he could have, he'd probably have done something really suggestive in eyebrow language, "if we're counting Latin. There's that word you had on your shirt when we met, of course..."

Drying his hands on a dish towel, Sav approached to make sure things were going alright with the coffee-making, though pretty much anyone could have figured out how to work the machine so he wasn't worried. Jani had been busy, and he handed Sav the first mug. "Thanks, Jani!" Since he had to have his milk and sugar – the sugar bowl was still out from the previous night – Sav added that first, then opened the fridge. "Huh. What...?" Then he noticed he'd left the milk out by the sugar. It hadn't even registered. He took a quick sniff, and turned his head aside quickly. "Nope, spoilt. Damn." Having to pour the sour milk down the sink didn't thrill him, but it would only stink up the house. "Too bad my gran is gone. She'd have had a use for that."

* * *

"Wasn't that okay just, what, half an hour ago?" Jani's eyebrows went up as he watched Sav pour the spoilt milk down the sink. Suddenly, a thought hit him and a huge smile spread over his face, making him forget that he wanted to teach Sav Finnish profanities.

"Sav," Jani approached his lover, his voice shaking a little. "This... don't laugh. Spoilt milk. This is what I came here to share with you – normal life. I watched you perform on stage, and yes, I admit to standing there with my eyes and mouth hanging wide open like a teenaged fanboy, but that isn't what I see when I look at you. I see _you._ Throwing out the spoilt milk, saying that your gran would have had a suggestion how to still use it. That's how my life is, too, when you strip all the band stuff. It's... real. It's what matters."

* * *

"You'll think I'm really as dumb as the bass player reputation," Sav replied. "This is from last night: I opened a new one this morning and didn't see this was still out till I was trying to find the one that was half-empty just now." He rinsed out the carton a couple of times, flattened it, and put it in the recycle bin.

When he looked up, Jani walking toward him slowly, a look of concentration and something almost like a small child seeing the first snow of winter or an exotic animal in a circus on his face. But he was talking, and Sav was listening. This – here, now, real – was what mattered. "Yes, absolutely it does matter," Sav nodded. "The 'band stuff' is what makes this possible, for me. Everyday stuff, making coffee, washing dishes, thinking out loud of our grandmas, that's what regular people do, right? So can we... right now."

Not the same feelings as with sex, exactly, but strong feelings none-the-less welled up. If asked to describe it, Sav might have said his mind took a picture: Jani standing there, in his kitchen, coffee in hand, telling him that this idyll of domestic bliss was what he valued highly. Sav wanted to make that happen, for more than just a few days. Because honestly? He had never considered someone sharing it long term, not really. Maybe he secretly wanted it, but for a long time now, years, had considered the dream out of reach for him. They – he and Jani – seemed to be fine again, throwing banter back and forth, but Sav asked permission anyway. "Would it be okay if I hugged you?"

* * *

"Maybe you were distracted," said Jani and pointed to the milk carton. "Did something out of the ordinary happen this morning?" he teased.

Then Sav asked if he could hug him after confirming that the things Jani had just brought up mattered to him, too. Jani nodded gravely. "There's nothing I could think of that's more okay," he said. Setting his still half-full coffee mug on the counter, Jani stood before Sav, so close that he could perceive his body heat but not touching yet.

"I want to hug you," Jani whispered. "Feel you. I'm yours."

* * *

_"I'm yours."_ Jani had never said it before. In bed, Sav had. Once. It might not have sunk as hard in a similar setting as it did right then and there, standing next to Sav's kitchen sink. And, Jani had stepped as close as he possible could without touching. Human body chemistry, the electric charge, made the hairs on Sav's arms stand up. He stared into Jani's eyes, wouldn't let him drop his gaze. How could a person's eyes be both light and dark blue, or any colour, at the same time? But they were. "You're mine," he rasped, had to clear his throat. "And I'm yours."

Enough words, just those few. The need for contact asserted itself and Sav did what he'd asked: pulled Jani into a full-body hug, arms around him tight enough to feel his ribs expand and contract with his breathing. Oh god, so warm! Jani's body, the feelings and caring... Sav could detect his own brand of shower gel on him, just one more binding agent. Shifting his arms every so often, shifting his weight, it was like a subtle dance. Their hips pressed together; as yet, he was able to keep lust leashed but, Sav was aware, he was trembling a bit, some from the strength of his love, some from holding back. If he wasn't careful, certain things were bound to come up, and he was more than aware they needed to wait till later. "Mine," he repeated, not ownership but confirmation of what had been freely given.

* * *

Jani pressed his body against Sav's wherever he could reach in an attempt to maximise contact. "I want to crawl into you," he whispered, "be inside you. What is it with you that I can't get close enough, that I want to be with you all the time, touch you all the time." He was clinging to Sav as if his life depended on it. "I want to stay like this forever, never let go of you again."

It cost him an almost superhuman effort to move his head away from Sav's chest so he could look up at him, into his eyes. "Maybe we should leave a bit earlier, go for a detour on our way to the doctor's office. This..." Jani swallowed nervously, "is getting a bit overwhelming..."

* * *

"Mmmm... I know... we're part of each other. My hands, my body, craves you." Other than it might be nicer to be horizontal, Sav, too could have remained wrapped around Jani for hours, days, interminably. "And... you can, you know. Be inside me, when you're ready for that."

Being Jani was asking for distance now, Sav wondered if his last offer was too much. He concentrated on them getting out of the house. "Of course, we could leave any time. There's some parkland nearby, one of those urban renewal projects, that we can walk through some of. Or, there's some shops nearby the Doc's if you prefer."

* * *

He must have mis-heard. It wasn't possible that Sav wanted Jani inside him. Once again Jani's English failed him. Unless, of course, Sav could have spoken metaphorically. Jani wouldn't ask and ruin the mood, not again: Every time his insecurity came up things went downhill. What he'd said a moment ago, that he was getting overwhelmed, was even more true now.

Thankfully, Sav agreed to his suggestion to get going. "Parkland sounds good to me. As do shops. Maybe I could make up on my, well, not promise, but the plan that got thwarted by the delayed flight to Arlanda, meaning I owe you some underwear." Jani winked.

* * *

Stepping back, though he wished they could remain, Sav reminded himself that their errand out of the house today was for Jani's health. Walking off the heavy meal's lingering sluggishness would be a nice side-effect.

Jani chose the walk through the more natural setting, or so Sav thought. Then he mentioned the shops. And underwear. As in, those he'd borrowed – and nicked – from Sav and continued to wear. That was the proverbial straw. "Fuck!" Sav had to adjust himself. "I think you just triggered the Pavlovian... I might need to change into a longer shirt," he said, chuckling. "Excuse me a minute while I go upstairs and beat off. Just kidding. For different clothes, though."

Since he was causing a delay, however short, Jani may as well make sure he had everything would need to show the doctor. "You have your phone on you, right?"

* * *

"It's upstairs," Jani said. "I'll get it when I change into jeans. Better not go out in my sweatpants. Especially not if I intend to buy underwear. Tentpole, you know."

He emptied his coffee cup and rinsed it. "Would you rather I wait while you change and vice versa?"

* * *

Tentpole! Sav laughed. Now that sounded familiar. "Right, right. I'm going to copy you in that regard. We would make public spectacles of ourselves in sweats, knowing... us. In the interest of time, let's both go now. I'll behave. We can keep our backs turned to each other or something." At least, he hoped he could behave. Yes he could! They needed to get the replacement medication. Sav made it obvious he was leaving the kitchen and started across the large, open hall; it was up to Jani if he followed or waited now.

* * *

Jani snorted. "I like your back, but I'll try not to sneak a look while we get dressed. I'm already looking forward to when we're back from shopping and the doctor. You know what they say, that walking and being outdoors increases one's appetite. I've always wondered if this refers to food only. I suppose I'm about to find out." He paused, not sure if he should bring up former girlfriends, then decided against it. Everything was different with Sav anyway.

"Maybe I should not only buy underwear but also a pair of jeans that's a little less tight."

* * *

"Well, I like yours, too, as I found out yesterday, but if we both turn our backs, neither of us will be too tempted, at least not by a visual." It took only a minute to go upstairs and reach Sav's room. Or, lair, he thought to himself. It was finally beginning to live up to that.

Jani was reaching for his suitcase. No doubt his choice of jeans was going to be his usual style: button fly and skin-tight. So far, besides the present pair of sweatpants, that's all Sav had ever seen him wear. If their little shopping excursion turned the least bit... interesting, Jani was going to seriously regret that choice, if for a different reason than 'tentpole'. "So, jeans... wanna borrow some of mine? Like, with a zipper instead of those damned buttons? I swear, you're going to damage yourself one of these days, and we can't have that!" he leered. "I would offer you a pair of my leathers but that's not exactly walk in the park, going to the doctor attire."

* * *

"My damn buttons, huh?" Jani laughed. "If I'm going to damage myself one of these days, I'm pretty sure that your presence will be involved somehow. As in being the cause for my jeans getting too tight. Not that I'm complaining, just saying. Actually," he was glad that they had their backs turned to each other as he was sure his face was flushing red again, "one of the reasons I started wearing button-fly jeans is that they make it look as if you pack more, if you know what I mean. I'm not exactly hung and even being a guitarist isn't always enough for the ladies. So, erm, yes."

* * *

"My GP won't care if you're hung or not. He's married," Sav deadpanned. Of course, everyone, himself included, had their insecurities. Sav found himself a little indignant that someone had said that to his lover. "I suppose it's different for women, I don't know, never asked but... How rude! Next time some bird says something like that to you, ask her why she's so bunged out. Meaning, loose. Excuse the vulgarity. If we hadn't determined we're behaving ourselves, I would be over there proving to you how just fine you are, Jani."

Back to the question of jeans. Sav walked into his closet and grabbed a few: old and faded, new and dyed dark with fancy pocket stitching, black and styled almost like Phil wore, with the wider fly but minus 50 zippers; tossed them on the bed and then turned his back again. "I have more, too. It's up to you... I wouldn't presume to actually dress you unless you asked, no pressure. There are a couple different sizes 'cuz I usually put on a few pounds on tour, all the crap food and drinking. You might have noticed I don't exactly wear mine loose either."

* * *

"He may be married, but I had a girlfriend and no clue that I might ever find a male attractive until very recently," Jani mused. "Anni and I spoke about marriage... Never mind," he interrupted himself.

"I'll be happy to borrow more of your clothes," he grinned. "Which would you recommend for a skinny guy with thick thighs?" Jani had put on a lot of weight during the US and European tours, then shed most of it again. By the time he and Sav had met, he'd been almost back to his old weight – otherwise Sav probably wouldn't have looked at him twice in Milan. During his illness he'd lost even more weight. If not for his thighs, he'd look like a stick figure.

* * *

It always interested Sav when Jani thought out loud. He had discussed marriage with his ex? Did Jani want to be married? It seemed... strange. Sav kept his mouth shut, but he wanted to protest that Jani was too young. Of course he'd have been able to marry legally without parental permission for years, and Jani's bandmate Tommy, who was younger, was married with a child. Maybe it was because of his 'advanced' age: Sav was of the opinion that no one under 30 had any business getting married. Before that, people were still figuring out who they were, what they wanted in life. Some of that could be cultural. He'd noticed that people in more rural areas, both in the UK and the States, tended to get married younger. He wasn't exactly avoiding the topic, but he was relieved when Jani changed the subject so he didn't have to answer.

"Hm... skinny jeans, no. The dark blue might fit the best with that in mind... your thighs are drool-inducing, by the way." Sav bit his lip. He'd almost slipped and offered to drool on them right now. Damn his dirty mind! "Try them... if they don't work, I'll find something else for you." He had to admit, Jani's plan to wear jeans and why made sense, and they were less casual than sweatpants. Out of the corner of his eye, saw saw Jani pick up a pair, and he snagged the black ones, dropped the sweats, and pulled them on. Kind of tight, but they'd do. No crotch buttons – Sav was amused with his internal turn of phrase. Walking into the closet again, he picked a short-sleeved black button-down and found a belt.

"How's it going?" he called, not wanting to walk out if Jani had no pants on.

* * *

Glad that he wasn't facing Sav so he wouldn't notice the blush the compliment on his thighs evoked, Jani put on the dark blue jeans Sav handed him. They were too wide, but a belt would fix that – and he'd probably come to appreciate having a little space later. It was a long time since he'd worn anything not black, but somehow it fit: being with Sav changed everything in his life, so why not wear something blue for once? Besides, they were Sav's jeans. Maybe he was developing a clothes fetish. Wearing Sav's underwear never failed to arouse him, and he'd put on the shirt Sav had lent him in Milan whenever it wasn't in the laundry.

"Going okay," he replied as he fiddled his belt through the loops. Yes, definitely better with a belt. Good thing that he'd left the belt with the Teddy bear buckle, a present from Anni, at home. "Unless you disagree, of course."

* * *

Since he was fully dressed now and had heard the tell-tale noises of Jani messing with a belt, Sav walked to where he could see him and gave Jani the once-over. The jeans were noticeably looser on Jani than what he normally wore. Frankly, although he didn't say, Sav thought the entire 'packing' thing worked the opposite than Jani thought it did. Or maybe it was only the cut of this pair. "Nice. Different... good different. Um... I suppose you'll hate it if I start complimenting your arse so... Let's go. Don't forget your phone."

* * *

They were ready to go.

* * *


	3. Doctor's visit

* * *

Sav grabbed his phone and his wallet. His keys were downstairs. Soon they were out the front door and on their way. The day was warm and partly sunny. Mainly, Sav was happy to be with Jani, and that there were currently no fangirls in sight.

* * *

"Sav, wait." Jani bit his lip when they stepped out of the house. Sav had just brought up complimenting – or not – his arse. This was going to be a problem and he didn't want it to escalate. His heart beat fast as he looked at Sav nervously. "I... I don't like compliments... No, that isn't completely right either... They make me uncomfortable, and that's what I don't like about them. I don't want this to... come between us. That I feel uncomfortable because of a compliment or that you feel awkward for not saying something you'd want to say. I... think I want to try to learn to accept when you say something nice. Just... could you not overdo it... Maybe you could even help me find out why I have such issues with this..."

* * *

Once again, Jani rejected even the reference of a compliment. Sav didn't know how to respond, so he just said, "Okay," and replayed what Jani said, and how he'd said it, in his mind. One thing was clear: if he toned it down, and in the long-run that helped Jani figure out why he objected so much, then Sav would do it.

"I don't mean to... objectify you, or something," he added belatedly, pointing to indicate a path he remembered through a span of grass and trees with a hedge running parallel. They walked along in silence for a while. That was fine. They didn't always have to talk. That was real, too. Other people were visible in the distance, but no one got close and he was glad for that. They'd be amongst others soon enough.

* * *

"I know that," Jani said sincerely. "I don't know why it makes me so uncomfortable, but I know that you mean it when you say something. If I'd thought you were, I don't know, patronising me, you'd have got a different reaction." He cringed. "I've been known to have a temper on occasion. Sorry." Jani hunched his shoulders.

"Anyway, it looks as if the coast is clear fangirl-wise. So, would this be the world famous English lawn?"

* * *

Again not sure how to respond, Sav 'mm-hm'd' when Jani went on to say he believed Sav to be sincere in saying good things to him. "Temper, huh? Well, it's not usually a problem for me, but you should have seen me on the Helsinki-London flight. Or... in the ED the night I fell off the stage. It's been a long time since I've been so... Strong emotions, had to learn to control them, the medical thing."

He nodded again over the lack of over-bold fans right then. "I know they pay the bills. And they're just people. Still, it's a relief to just go about my business like an average bloke... for me, this is really, really nice." Sav smiled over at Jani to let him know he was part of it.

"Sorry, what?" Sav wasn't very up to date about tourism points of interest. "Lawn...? I suppose it is. There's a lot of parks and what they call 'walks' in Sheffield these days. Funny, when you live here, you don't think about what they're called, it's just, 'that park to the west of my house'. We do have a Botanic Garden and the Winter Gardens, if you wanted to see something like that."

* * *

"Losing one's cool at the emergency department, I think that's natural," Jani nodded darkly. It was a good thing that he'd been too sick to make a scene when he'd come to in the ICU during his sepsis. "I should probably be glad that my memories of that part of our, well, first night together, are a little fuzzy. I really like the, um, strong emotions later that night, though." He blushed.

"Our fans in Finland, maybe it's an unfair comparison because we're of course not as famous as you, but I never got the impression that ours are quite as fanatic as yours. Although... Do you remember the two hammered guys from one of the more famous Finnish bands who wished me and my 'girlfriend' a good night in our hotel in Helsinki? One of them told me about this girl on the forums who keeps telling everybody that she's going to marry him. She's not a Finn, but whenever they play anywhere near where that girl lives, he gets a bit nervous. I can't help feeling concerned that you have fans who actually not only know where you live but apparently spend a lot of time hanging around close by. Have you ever had to deal with violent fans?"

Jani liked the scenery and made a mental note to tell Sav later that he'd like to visit the gardens he'd mentioned. Right now, however, he was more anxious to find out if there was any threat to Sav by those fans. Not that Jani would be able to do anything about it...

* * *

That night. Sav would probably still be thinking about it all the time when he was too senile to remember his own name. "Yeah... strong emotions. At the A&E, I might have a weak stomach but there were a couple of times I was relieved that they made me leave the room. Later... It wasn't good you were hurt and in pain or that I had a nightmare and... whatever, my face... but... yeah." He wanted to say something that didn't smack of 'compliment', but wasn't disgustingly syrupy. "It was special. Somehow." Jani moved on to a different question, though, and Sav followed along with that.

There were all sorts of fans, some who were so shy they almost had to be cajoled into a photo op or meet and greet. Then the other extremes. Sav had already mentioned Joe's stalker to Jani and didn't bring it up again. Most people – thousands, millions – came to their shows, bought their music, watched them online and were satisfied with that. "Violent... no, not really. There's been a time or two, one in Milan, in fact, where blokes get drunk and belligerent, where they'll make a scene because they don't like the direction of our music anymore, and they can get insulting, but it's been years since any fights actually broke out. Not violence, but some fans can get damned pushy about getting close to us, trying to sneak into backstage areas, on the bus, or think we're friends or they're our girlfriends or something. I'm talking about on tour. Here, in Sheffield? It's annoying when a bunch of people want pictures or autographs when I'm in a hurry or like, if it's a bad face-doing-weird-things day. Mostly it's no biggie. I've never felt my life was threatened. But I do take care not to go out alone, isolated, keep my house alarms set at all times and the doors, windows and gates locked. What about you? It kind of sounds like people have more respect in your scene."

* * *

That night had been special. Jani still wondered how many coincidences it had taken to bring them together. And then, Sav in Finland, everything had almost ended there, yet here they were in Sheffield, walking side by side... Jani wanted to take Sav's hand, but fought the impulse.

"Most people in Finland have a healthy respect for distance," he said. "Most of us don't like to be crowded, and we grant the same to others. Plus Kemi is a small town, so those few potential local fans who could possibly know where I live would also know that I have a girlfriend and am not interested in anyone else. Well, was. Not. It's different on tour or after a gig, of course, and yeah, I'm usually hammered and more inclined to enjoy a hug or, you know, but not at home. Except, okay, I had an affair. In hindsight that was stupid and I can't blame Anni for breaking up with me over it... Or I should be grateful that she did because otherwise I wouldn't be here with you... But back to crazy fans, no, I've never had any problems with them at or near my home."

* * *

"For your sake, I hope you never have to deal with that. British are supposedly reserved and all, but try telling that to the crowds of birds in heat or something," he laughed. That was, for the most part, years behind them. "In America, people are more casual, they don't care much about 'class' which is more of a thing here – working class, upper class. If you're concerned we might get mobbed in the shops or on the street, don't be, that won't happen." Sav had to wonder what was behind this. "Are you... worried about it?"

* * *

"I'm worried because they bother you," Jani said slowly. "And because the fact that some of your fans apparently lay siege to your home suggests that they don't know where their, well, obsession, should end. You said that your singer acquired a stalker that way. That isn't healthy. As much as I dislike the concept of house alarms and paranoia-type security, it's probably a good thing that you have them. Still, I'm glad I'm not that famous," he concluded.

* * *

Sav nodded. He didn't really 'like' the security measures either. If they were more famous, like some of the Hollywood A-listers, having bodyguards and all that could be a reality. On the road, they, as a group, had to resort to it, although often the venues had staff so they didn't need to hire extras, temporarily. "Overall, I would have to agree with you. I do wish you success in terms of recognition and making a living, but not the bullshit that goes with it. I was only a couple of years older than you when suddenly we were super-famous overnight. If you think it's too much now..." Sav shook his head, remembering some of the crowds, the shrill screaming, flashing, always people touching him...

"Anyway, I suppose any choice in life, you pay." Speaking of pay, they'd nearly reached a main thoroughfare that they'd need to cross. "The shops I mentioned start right over there," he pointed out a neat row facing the curved street. "The GP's office is in that taller building beyond."

* * *

"Right now I'd say what you wish me is very close to what I have." Jani smiled, then sighed. "Except for the service thing, of course, but that's temporary. I'm so glad Tony isn't mad at me any longer." He paused. "Don't get me wrong. He had a point. I still think a break will do me good, but I'll be back with Sonata after that. It would be nice if our touring schedules matched... Any chance Def Leppard would invite Sonata Arctica as support?" He laughed. "I'm joking of course. Still, I'd love to be on tour with you."

Sav pointed out the shops and Jani nodded. "Okay. Underpants. And jeans. Black, with zipper. What else would you suggest I need?"

* * *

"Need? I dunno... the salespeople might be better at that than me. If it were my call, you'd probably walk out of there looking like Axl Rose circa 1988," Sav snorted. "You know better than I do what you brought here. I have a feeling once we start looking at, erm, underpants," why did that word make him squirm, and a warm tingle settle in below his belt? "we may forget about everything else for a few minutes."

Taking a look at the traffic on the road, which was six lanes, Sav decided, "We should probably cross at the lights. I don't think I'll chance it today." They were only a block from the crosswalk now. There were other people, but so far, no one looked at either of them twice.

* * *

"You may have a point about forgetting everything else for a while once we start looking at underpants," Jani admitted. "In fact, now that my stomach is half-way through breakfast, I'm beginning to feel the, um, cosmic urge, again. I'll behave, though," he quickly assured. "Don't want to get you into trouble."

He followed Sav so that they could cross the road at the traffic lights. "Maybe it's a good idea to buy new jeans for me while I'm, uh, needy. That'll ensure that I fit into them whenever I'm in your presence. You know what I mean," he winked.

* * *

"Oh yeah, I think I might know..." Sav grinned. They were going to get up to so much mischief, no doubt. He'd worn the longer shirt for that reason, as well as being in public in general, where some women were absolutely shameless about ogling the goodies.

They reached the light just before it turned red, waited what seemed like an eternity, and crossed with the small gathering of shoppers who'd come to the same corner. "Last I was here, there were three stores we might check: a department store, one's kind of exclusive and expensive, the other looked like it was more for younger people and I've never been in it. Could be there's others now. We have," he checked his watch, "about an hour, not quite, before we should head over to the Doc's. Any preference? Hard to know, sight unseen, huh? Can we skip the teenager gear for the sake of the old man?" he grinned. "But, your call."

* * *

Jani had just opened his mouth to suggest they check out the shop where they sold clothes for younger people first when Sav asked if they could skip the teenager gear. "Um, sure, then let's start with the department store, I guess." He doubted that they'd sell the kind of jeans he liked, with holes or lines of stitches, but a plain pair would do as long as it had a zipper – Jani preferred button flies but agreed with Sav that these had a disadvantage when it came to quick access.

Something else entered his mind. "When I checked for my meds earlier, I also forgot to pack my nicotine patches. Do you think I could buy some here?"

* * *

"Yeah, I'm sure you can get that, there's a chemist's in the same building as the GP. Speaking of, maybe I should get one, too. I'm craving a smoke again. Mostly I've been good the last few days but..." They were walking by the shop Sav had said he'd rather avoid, just because he felt out of place. But he wasn't the person who needed clothes. If he'd been seeing a female half his age, he'd probably have thought nothing of being dragged into a million stores that sold – women's – fashions. Why was this so different?

"Wait a second." Sav stopped, and looked at the window, at some jeans that caught his eye, displayed on a mannequin that was also dressed in a shirt with purple swirls. The jeans had stitching on the legs that would accentuate Jani's thighs. Holy shit, they'd be killer on stage! Then he looked at Jani. "You should try those on," he pointed. "Or maybe something with glitter on the back pockets," he winked. It was crazy, what men wore these days, not that he was complaining. "What do you say?"

* * *

"I'd wondered if you were wearing a patch," Jani replied. "I didn't see one on you, but maybe I was too focused on some parts of your body than on others." He winked, then turned serious again. "The patch helps with the physical withdrawal, but I'm still craving. You haven't smoked since I arrived. I... thank you for that. I'm not sure I could watch you smoke without wanting to light up, too."

They walked past a shop that had to be the one Sav didn't want to enter. Yet Sav pointed to a pair of jeans in the window and suggested Jani should try them. They were exactly the kind he was used to wearing, which meant... "Not what we're after," Jani said. "Button fly. But the purple shirt would look great with your hair." He winked.

* * *

"I'd probably have had to have the patch stuck to the bottom of my foot, for you not to have noticed." That might have been something of an exaggeration, but Sav meant that Jani had given plenty of attention to many different parts of him. And he had liked it... a lot. "Let's go in, then. I'm sure they have other styles than button fly."

A woman, short, dark-haired, middle-aged, was leaving just as he reached for the door to push it inward. She did a double-take. "Oh! Oh my god!" she blushed and looked down at the floor. "Sorry!!" Allowing him to go past, she bolted outside and walked away quickly. Sav raised an eyebrow at Jani, and grinned wryly.

* * *

"No, wait," Jani put a hand on Sav's arm to stop him from entering the shop. Sav had just made it clear that this was a place he didn't want to go to. Somehow, he must have read from Jani's expression, body language, whatever, that this would have been Jani's first choice. And now Sav did a 180 to accommodate Jani. This shouldn't happen. "You said..." Jani didn't get any further when a woman left the shop and appeared instantly star-struck before fleeing.

"Let's try the department store," Jani said quietly. "Please."

* * *

What? Sav blinked. Why would Jani refuse? He knew as well as Sav did just by a quick glance this was his kind of clothes. "Um... are you...?" Sav shrugged. "Alright." It would be stupid to get into a disagreement over clothes shopping. That was supposed to be fun. Neither of them were so poor they had none, especially not Sav. He felt selfish now. Him and his big, opinionated mouth. At the same time, he was beginning to wonder if he was so lacking in backbone that Jani would always be able to out-stubborn him. Which was also stupid because he wanted what Jani wanted, but in this case, Jani was trying to do what Sav had said _he_ wanted. Only, he had changed his mind. What did that make him? A woman? What a chauvinistic thought! Or was it, since it was directed at himself? He didn't know. Fuck!

Coming back out to the sidewalk again, Sav turned to continue walking in the same direction as before, which would get them to the department store soon. "It's just up there," he nodded. "End of the block."

* * *

Something was wrong. Jani could feel that Sav was irritated. He opened his mouth to apologise as he'd clearly done something wrong – again – but stopped himself. Based on Sav's previous reactions whenever Jani had said he was sorry, another apology would only serve to earn him a discussion Jani didn't want to have.

"Great," he said. "Although, you know, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about buying pants... I quite like wearing yours." It was true. Not only were they Sav's but they were also wider than his own and thus very comfortable.

* * *

Was Jani putting his foot down about going to a store he didn't choose, or was he making some sort of minor amends here? Sav had to admit, he'd never get tired of Jani 'borrowing' his. There could be a creative solution. "Is that right? Well then, perhaps I should buy more for myself and you can help yourself to anything in my underwear drawer at home. You can help me choose."

They'd reached the store now, and Sav walked up to the row of reflective glass doors. Whatever else was going on, he liked how they looked together, something he hadn't really had opportunity to appreciate much other than in Helsinki, those couple of times in the bathroom, before and after... He made it a point to meet Jani's eyes in the reflection, then reached for the handle. "Men's is on the second floor."

* * *

Jani laughed when Sav made his 'offer.' "That's the perfect solution," he said warmly, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "Although when we're at home," he felt warm when he realised that Sav had made it sound as if it was Jani's home now, too, "I think I'll prefer us not wearing any clothes at all. Man, what are you doing to me..." he coughed and forced himself to breathe deeply.

"Okay. Men's. Second floor."

* * *

There were other people all around them now, so Sav didn't say it out loud, but he too wanted to spend significant chunks of time naked with Jani. He also wanted to take Jani's hand, couldn't do that either, just to hold it or maybe to drag it to his crotch. Okay, he shouldn't go there right now. "Mm-hm... same as what you're doing to me," he said instead with a nod, threading his way through slower-moving shoppers to the stairs.

Up two flights, he cast about clothes that looked anything like what Jani might wear. Everything looked too formal, suits and dress clothes. "Maybe we need a different floor," Sav commented. There was a certain appeal to seeing Jani in an Italian suit, but it wasn't very practical. "I'll ask. But what we're after, at least what we were discussing, is in that corner," he flicked his hair back in gesturing, and headed to the section he knew from previous experience.

There were shelves and more shelves of underwear to choose from. Making sure no one could hear him, Sav still kept his voice low. "They seem to be arranged biggest to smallest. Long Johns, boxers, boxer briefs, briefs, bikinis, thongs... what the fuck do you suppose this is? Dental floss?" The colours went from white to lurid to black, and there must be some system of sizes. Sav walked up one aisle till he found his favourite brand, in a style of briefs they were both – intimately – familiar with. "I'll get more like this. But then I might want to try something else as well."

He dropped his voice further, aware that Jani was fidgeting already. "What about you? See anything you like? Go ahead, have a look 'round," he invited.

* * *

"What I like is standing right next to me," Jani leered. "Clothes-wise, I'm afraid I'm boring. Black briefs and socks, band shirts, and button-fly jeans." Suddenly, an old memory came to his mind. "At least that's what I wear nowadays. Remind me to show you old pictures of me, of the band later when we're back at... home." A shudder ran down his spine.

"So what is it you're looking for?"

* * *

"Right back at yeh," Sav chuckled. "Black is always hot." He picked two pairs like that. "Or... black and white. As for what else... I can't decide." He pointed at the shelf below and to his right, at an eye-catching 'piece' in two shades of blue and decidedly... smaller, than the ones in his hand. Then Sav tuned around and... petted a pair of boxers on a hanger, made in similar colours to that shirt Jani had said would look good on him. "Which do you like? Or both?"

He wanted to roll on the floor and laugh. This was so silly. "Maybe I should try them on for you. Oh wait, you supposed to be the one trying on stuff..."

* * *

"I think you – we – should just stay with black. As for trying them on, would that even be allowed? Then again, allowed or not, I have a feeling it would get us thrown out if not arrested for indecent exposure. I suggest we leave the show for later at your place where we can, um, act on it," Jani said. "I'll buy a few of these, too," he pointed at the black briefs in Sav's hand, "and try them on for you."

He noticed two women who'd stopped in an aisle close to theirs and seemed to stare at Sav. "Um, maybe we'd better get going..."

* * *

Looking around as discreetly as possible, Sav spotted Jani's cause for concern. "Shite! The crazy chicks," he muttered. His heart sank. By his house was one thing. In the... 'men's lingerie' section with another man... the cameras were sure to come out.

Yep, they'd spotted him. "Heeeeey, Sav...!" One of them called from a few aisles away. Damn his hair, he should have worn a cap. "Who's your friend?" the other sing-songed, the implication being 'boyfriend'.

"Grab what you want, and let's get the hell out of here!" Hot pink and leopard skin detoured, and Sav did likewise. He hoofed it toward the stairs, making sure Jani was following. "We can pay in some other department," he said. If he recalled correctly, the basement was the bargain bin. They wouldn't think to look for Sav there. Or, no, the check-out closest to the front door was at the fragrances counter. He could hold his breath long enough to pay. The jeans would have to wait.

In three minutes, they were out the door. "That was close!" Sav rolled his eyes.

* * *

Sav's reaction surprised Jani, but he understood it immediately when Sav explained that these were the women who'd been laying siege at his house. He quickly grabbed a pair of black briefs and followed Sav to a checkout on the ground floor. They paid and left as fast as they could.

Watching Sav roll his eyes, Jani suddenly felt like laughing. It wasn't funny, though, it must be the relief at their successful flight, he thought. "Are these the ones you told me about? If they turn up at your house and catch us there, maybe we should come up with an explanation for who I am and why I'm here – they weren't seriously suggesting that I'm your boyfriend, right? That's what it sounded like..." he frowned.

* * *

They continued up the pavement, and while Sav kept glancing back to check, seemed to have lost the women. Score one for the rock stars. "That's them. This the first time I've ever seen them while I was out shopping. From now on, I'll go to another part of town. Their names are, get this, Candi and Stacy. No idea which is which. Good idea, invent a cover story. You're... my fourth cousin who's moving to the UK and needed a place to crash. Or... you're my bodyguard." Sav laughed. "'Cuz, you know, crazy fans..."

"As far as being my boyfriend... I'd never use _that_ word to describe you or anyone, but I'm pretty sure that's what she was, er, asking."

* * *

Jani laughed. "I'm definitely your bodyguard," he said. "I love to look at your body, feel it up, make sure it's happy... Not that I think we should tell them _that,_ though. Seriously, your cousin sounds plausible, but what if they find out who I really am? I mean, there's the Internet and if they follow you around online and find pictures in a gig review from Milan... If they spot the cousin to be a lie, they'll never believe you that I'm _not_ your boyfriend... Maybe they're even the ones who write these weird stories about you..."

He thought for a moment. "How about you're looking into guest musicians for a solo project?"

* * *

"Hm, that seems like a good story. And... the airline lost your luggage. That would explain us clothes shopping together." Despite all Sav's years in the public eye and dodging fans, Jani seemed to have a better affinity for what would fly, little-white-lie-wise. Maybe since he'd grown up using the Internet, where-as Sav had been well over thirty the first time he'd gone online.

"You make my body very happy," he added, just before they reached the chemist's. "More than my body. And no, we don't need to tell anyone that. Although... we're probably glowing like a couple of pregnant birds and oozing pheromones..." Grinning, he pushed open the door. "Nicotine patches. I'm set for, um, supplies. Forget your shampoo or anything?"

* * *

"I have utter confidence that your shampoo and conditioner will do me fine," Jani winked. "You're Mr. Hair Metal, after all. So nicotine patches – and later antibiotics – are all I need. Although... What about some massage oil maybe?" Sav's eyes widened and Jani blushed. "For your shoulder, I mean."

* * *

Massage oil? Sav's acupuncturist's practice also offered massage therapy, which he had declined after the first session when the same affect occurred as with scalp massage at the hairdresser. Getting a boner at the hands of a three-hundred-pound ex-wrestler had been disconcerting. Jani blushed and stammered, then clarified. Somehow, Sav didn't think he'd make it through Jani's hands on him without more of the same, but as long as they were at home, he didn't mind. "Um... okay. Nothing heavily scented, though. I don't want to smell like potpourri or an opium den."

He coughed, further amused by Jani's comment about his hair. Within twenty seconds of meeting him, Sav recalled, Henkka had made a crack about it, too... as if Henkka had anything to say about hair! Two different worlds again. "Alright, if it'll do you fine. I know someone else who wants to do you fine... but for now I'll follow your lead for a nicotine patch. Funny, in all these years, I've tried quitting a few times but never thought of using one to help." Maybe he just hadn't been serious about quitting.

With only one item each, their errand was soon over. The lobby of the building had an elevator, which Sav decided to take as the GP was on the fifth floor. "We can go up now, I think. Wouldn't hurt to be a bit early."

* * *

"I tried to quit a few times, too, but you know how it is. Then my doctors suggested, well, my surgeon said smoking was bad for wound healing." Jani caught himself and shut up before he accidentally spilled the beans about the infection. "There's no way I'm taking a risk with my fingers. Also, meeting you, you know I said things hadn't been so great lately. That's changed since I met you, so now could be a good time for more changes. Quitting smoking, drinking less... Not counting the, er, overindulging at the Vantaa gig," Jani muttered darkly, but cheered up again.

"Anyway, I don't want to think about that day, or, more precisely, the first half of it. So," he changed topic, "how's your shoulder doing, aren't you seeing a doctor about it, too?"

* * *

"Well, I did see my GP right after I came home. I'm afraid I haven't been very compliant." Sav made a face, knowing that he should take better care of himself. In less than a week, he'd have to be back on tour. "I'm a bad patient. Not wearing my sling, only did the physio exercises a couple of times... blah. It still hurts a little, but it's better."

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor and they exited. He was happy to be able to shift the focus off himself. "Here we are..." The practice dominated the west end of the floor. Pointing Jani toward the receptionist, Sav told him, "I'll be over there, in the waiting room. Since we're early, you may be joining me for a few minutes."

* * *

Jani smiled at Sav and went to speak with the receptionist, who ran his insurance card and told him that the doctor was ready to see him. When she led him to the office, Jani turned to look at Sav, who nodded back. Good, this would only take a few minutes...

* * *


	4. Lunchtime

* * *

It took longer than a few minutes, much longer. Jani had thought it would be enough to explain to the doctor that he'd forgotten his antibiotics and needed a prescription, but the man apparently took his job very seriously. He demanded that Jani tell him every detail of his illness. When he learned about the sepsis, he insisted on taking a blood sample to make sure the infection wasn't flaring up again. Finally, he gave Jani a prescription, but only for a day's dosage, so that Jani was forced to make another appointment for the following day.

Jani was silent when he and Sav left the practice. How was he supposed to explain to Sav not only why he'd spent more than half an hour with the doctor, who furthermore insisted on seeing him again the following day – for a prescription for a routine prophylaxis medication? He almost wished they'd run into the 'crazy chicks' again as that would present an excuse for not speaking about the consultation. Then another thought occurred to him: what if patient information wasn't privileged in the UK? It had to be, of course, but what if... Jani told his mind to shut up. He wasn't paranoid.

Sav gave him the 'what now?' look and Jani said, "Can I get those pills at the same place where we bought the nicotine patches? Hopefully without running into those women again. Oh, and the Doc was very thorough. Suggested to check my infection markers, so he drew blood and I'll have to go in again tomorrow. As for now, before we return home, should we also buy more food? I shouldn't really take the meds on an empty stomach, yet since I missed last night's and this morning's doses, I should probably take the next one as soon as possible. Then it would be good to eat something soon after that."

* * *

Rather than having to wait, Jani was called through straight away. It took much longer than the expected few minutes. Sav crossed and re-crossed his legs, shifted around, played with his phone, got a drink of water from the dispenser, and generally fidgeted. What was wrong? How could being off antibiotics for less than two days this long after a surgery cause so much trouble? Sav had stopped himself when he'd been tempted to lay a hand on Jani's forehead a couple of times, attributing the high colour in his cheeks and a film of sweat on his upper lip to nerves and arousal. What if somehow the Finnish officials got wind of his whereabouts from the hit on his insurance cards and...? He told himself to calm down.

Finally Jani reappeared. He had that, 'don't talk to me', look on his face, but soon began to tell Sav... well, not much. What – in general terms – had happened in the last thirty minutes, but not why. "The shop downstairs fills prescriptions," he answered that question. "What's going on? Infection markers? Either he's extra cautious or... Did something go wrong after your surgery?" Because he knew twenty questions would get him nowhere, Sav kept his voice tones at 'mildly interested' and cut himself off there. He had to respect Jani's right to privacy. Inside, he was clamouring for details and wanting to fix anything he could, no matter the cost or the inconvenience. Getting Jani his antibiotics and to the next appointment was top priority. As was... "Yes, food. It's past lunchtime. We stuffed ourselves this morning but its wearing off."

* * *

Perhana, he'd already said too much. "I think he's just being cautious," Jani replied, hoping to sound casual. The look on Sav's face told him he wasn't succeeding. "I was feeling a bit under the weather after they pulled out the wires the surgeon had put in to stabilise the fracture," he elaborated, feeling guilty for lying – well, technically, it wasn't a lie, he told himself, it was an understatement. "But we had a gig right after that, so there was some stress involved and all. Anyway, I'm fine now. I'm not an expert on antibiotics, but even I know that one isn't supposed to interrupt a course of them, so my guess is that's why the Doc wants additional tests. No need to worry. If there was, I'm sure he'd have said something."

The last thing on Jani's mind was giving Sav reason to worry. In Milan, Sav had taken care of him, but as much as Jani had to admit that he couldn't have coped on his own back then, he hated to be seen as weak.

"I'm good," he said again and broke into a smile, "and hungry. For food and... You can probably guess what I want for dessert. So let's pick up my pills and..." He thought for a moment. "Is there, like a food delivery service, so that we could order now and have it brought to your place by the time we'll return there? Say, maybe Chinese or pizza? Or whatever else you like?"

* * *

One thing Sav could pick up on was when someone wasn't being entirely truthful with him, and he got the feeling Jani was significantly downplaying both past and present events concerning his fracture. What did Jani think he'd do with the information, anyway? Sav would never discuss it with an outside party. He was concerned, Jani was his significant other now. But, he didn't push it, only winced when Jani mentioned the surgery follow-up. "Playing right after the wires came out? Ouch. No idea how you managed it." Sheer force of will, no doubt.

The elevator dinged and they stepped out on the ground floor. "Alright," Sav nodded toward the door to the chemist's. You sort your pills and I'll order lunch. There's at least 20 local places that deliver to my house. You know what they say about Chinese: hungry again in an hour. So how about pizza?" He remembered how Tommy had made sure Jani had food – which they'd never got around to eating – in Helsinki. He assumed it would be okay, and if not, Jani would hopefully speak up. "What do you like on it?"

* * *

"Let's just say it wasn't the most pleasant experience," Jani confirmed dryly. "Although what was worse than the pain was that I had to go on stage after basically four weeks without practice. When you say you've no idea how I managed it, I've none either." He shrugged. "Nobody complained, though, so I guess it went okay." Jani grimaced. "Probably helped my cred as a tough guy. You tell me." He met Sav's eyes. "But you know that my public face isn't who I really am." He hesitated, yearning to tell Sav what had really happened, but did he have the right to do that? Sav would be worried, even more so as Jani was still on medication, and Jani thought that Sav wouldn't suffer from not knowing but that he'd be worried if he knew; thus the decision to keep his mouth shut was easy.

He focused on the question what he liked on his pizza. "I'm good with almost everything," he said, "except maybe that I'm not the greatest fan of seafood... My favourite pizza is one with smoked reindeer and peaches," his voice softened. "Red onions and feta cheese. There's a place in Kemi that makes these, Puistopaviljonki... One day, I want to take you there. It's a restaurant in a historic building... Anyway, whatever else you like I'll eat, too." Jani smiled.

* * *

Although Sav was convinced Jani was sparing him the gory details for whatever reason, he dropped it, only nodding when Jani said he wasn't sure he knew how he played that show either. Well, a person, a musician, did what they had to. Sav had played when intensely hung over, when sick with colds and flu, and he'd fallen off the stage before and had to keep going. This time, he'd been lucky in the sense it was the last show before a break. Being 'tough' hadn't been important to him since he was 20 or something, but being reliable was, including toughing it out and doing his job performing, giving the fans what they paid for, so in that sense Sav could agree. Jani was a lot younger, and his scene was different. He might have a different sort of pressure as a guitarist, as well.

"Smoked reindeer, huh? That's rather exotic for the UK, but I wouldn't mind trying it sometime. For today... I know of a place that does a Thai-spiced pizza with onions and feta, they use Mandarin oranges instead of peaches, and chicken rather than reindeer. How does that sound? If not, there's always pepperoni." Sav was already pulling his phone out. He couldn't remember the name of the place but a google search should get him there without much trouble. Once Jani got his prescription filled, if they walked back quickly they would be able to meet the delivery person at his house.

* * *

"Thai pizza? That's something I've never had," Jani smiled. "Let's go for it and I'll treat you to reindeer when you visit my place one day. It's not uncommon in Lapland, we have reindeer stew as well. My mum has a recipe..."

He blushed. Assuming that Sav wanted to meet his mother was a thought so bold that it scared him a little: Jani was still overwhelmed by the intensity of his emotions for the man at his side. He wanted to take Sav's hand but remembered just in time that they were out in the public.

"I wish I could hug you," Jani whispered.

* * *

"I've had venison but not reindeer, per se. It's probably good if one knows how to cook it properly." Saying his mum had a recipe was one thing; Sav got the impression Jani might be hinting that they should meet. Goodness, why did that scare him? He'd met girlfriends' parents a couple of times. After months or years of dating though. He chose to concentrate on the food aspect. "My mum would want to feed you sweets and of course, tea," Sav replied. His own mother would be a lot older than Jani's considering their age difference and the fact that his parents had had Sav later in life. It was disconcerting, to think about it for the first time: chances were that Jani's mum would be close to his own age.

"I know the feeling," Sav murmured, moving close enough for a second that their arms brushed together, a move he contrived while still playing with the Internet on his phone, then away. Jani wishing they could hug in public was something he'd felt on several occasions already, including right now when Jani said so. But, it wasn't hello, goodbye or congratulations so they probably shouldn't, just in case. "When we get home, though..." He was quite sure that any description of the look he gave Jani then would include words pertaining to heat. "We're probably going to have to postpone further shopping," he added.

* * *

"Something tells me that we may have to postpone eating, too, once we're back at your place," Jani suggested. "Maybe we should go for Chinese after all; unlike pizza, we could nuke that if we get, um, distracted by, other physical needs. You get my meaning." He laughed.

"On the other hand, maybe we should try and behave like the adults we're supposed to be and practice patience. Not my strongest suit, though," he admitted.

* * *

"Patience? Adult? Who me?" Sav blinked pseudo-innocently. Till recently, he had considered himself quite patient and generally laid back. Now, it might depend somewhat on the subject at hand. Or in hand. Or in mouth. Or... he'd better stop that line of thought. "Chinese it is, then. I'll order double for both of us. What would you like?"

This time Sav knew of a good take away and delivery place and even had the phone number in his contacts list. Chinese should be universal enough for Jani to not have to see a menu. "I doubt they have any dishes with reindeer, but otherwise..."

* * *

"Who am I to force us into being patient," Jani cocked his head and grinned. "Okay, Chinese, the same goes as for pizza: anything's fine with me except seafood. So, if you order double, does that mean we can stay in bed – I mean in the house of course! – all day? I want to see your playroom. As in, guitar room, I've seen and tried the other one, and before you ask, we should spend some more time in there, too."

He coughed. "Actually, when I said earlier that I'm fine with walking... Is there maybe a quicker way to your place?"

* * *

Eager much? Sav grinned. "We could take a taxi, there are usually some about since this a shopping district. I'm afraid I have no clue as to the bus schedule currently. Go get your meds, I'll make some calls." He made a shooing gesture with his hands. They might possibly be able to flag a cab on the street but he wasn't taking any chances, if they were in fact, not planning to walk back.

* * *

"I'll be right back," Jani fought the impulse to kiss Sav and hurried off to the pharmacy. Sav's GP had immediately recognised the ingredient, so Jani was confident that he wouldn't have to wait until they ordered it. His optimism was confirmed a minute later. He also bought a bottle of water and joined Sav again.

"I guess I'd better take one right now," he explained as he washed down a pill, then offered the water to Sav.

* * *

Sav was still on the phone with the taxi service when Jani came bounding out of the pharmacy. He confirmed their reservation – ASAP in front of the building, then took the bottle Jani offered him gratefully with a nod. As soon as he'd hung up, Sav had a couple gulps. "Thanks. I had a drink of water upstairs but it wasn't enough. Taxi should be here within five minutes, let's wait by the door."

The driver must have already been close by; it only took about three minutes before the car pulled up. They got in, Sav gave his address and they were off, then he pulled his phone out again. "I didn't get a chance to order food yet, doing that now," he explained to Jani. The restaurant picked up right away. He ended up ordering six dishes instead of four. Then they'd have some left-overs for the next day or two to snack on, plus he hadn't been kidding when he'd remarked that Chinese food wasn't filling. It did taste good, though.

Even going a longer distance than that of Sav and Jani's route through the park, the taxi ride went fast, only about ten minutes. First making sure he had his keys, Sav paid and tipped the driver, and then they were walking up the front steps. "Home sweet home!" he said redundantly, holding the door for Jani.

* * *

Meeting Sav's eyes when he held the door for him, Jani's eyes sparkled. "I finally figured it out," he said. "Why you didn't carry me over the doorstep. It's because of your shoulder, of course." He giggled. "Sorry. Thirteen again. And relieved." He turned serious and admitted, "I was nervous about my hand."

They went to the kitchen. "Should we have coffee while we wait for the food to arrive?"

* * *

"Is that 'carry the bride over the threshold' thing a tradition in Finland, too?" Honestly, Sav didn't know what to think of that. All kidding aside, this seemed... over the top. His stomach clenched. Maybe it was the mention of marriage that set him off. Of his own volition, Sav had let Jani in, had latched on to him so hard and so fast always just riding on the notion that as members of bands of varying degrees of fame, neither of them would ever play the role of entrapment... what if he'd failed to read the signs...? Wasn't being together enough?

"You're messing with me, right?" Sav would give Jani the chance to explain, or say he was joking. "Coffee, yes please! I could go for some, the stronger the better." He thought for a second. "You made it last time. My turn."

* * *

"Well, in some regions it used to be a tradition to carry the bride into her future house, so that's a yes and a no," Jani said. "We've got something else, though, called Eukonkanto. Eukko means old woman and kanto is the act of carrying. Maybe you've heard of it, it's a wife-carrying contest. Nowadays it's even an international sport with rules and all, but it began in Finland and we still hold the world championship." He snickered. "Don't worry. Even once your shoulder is healed, I don't believe they'll let us participate."

When Sav suggested that it was his turn to make coffee, Jani nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please. So we had the caramel and the plain. Didn't you say last night that there's a third variant?"

* * *

Okay... Sav felt a little better about the whole wife or bride or marriage thing, that Jani had only mentioned it passing, when he explained he was talking about some sort of race. He would keep an ear to the ground, figuratively speaking. "I'll admit, I've never heard of such a contest," Sav admitted. "Distance-wise, our countries aren't so far apart in the scope of the whole world. Some things, though... reindeer pizza, wife-carrying sports..." he grinned, perhaps a little sardonically. "Carrying the bride over the threshold means something else here. These days, it's just for luck, one of those silly wedding traditions like throwing the bouquet."

He had relaxed enough to begin the coffee, lifted the lid on the machine to change pods, extracting the used one. "Anyway, how did we get on that topic??" He made a face, like he'd smelled something bad. "Now, the coffee: the other flavour is hazelnut. It's probably one that a person loves or hates. I can make you some if you like, no pressure to drink it if you don't like it. I like how it smells, but not the taste, which I know is strange."

While speaking, Sav made himself another cup of the caramel-flavoured brew. He would need to get more within a day or two; he liked it well enough he wasn't interested in plain any longer, if there was caramel to be had. Now he looked at Jani for his choice.

* * *

"Finland is famous, or maybe I should say notorious for weird, um, occupations. Ever heard of swamp soccer or mobile phone throwing? Hosting the air guitar world championship is almost lame compared to a few others." Jani laughed. "I actually served as judge there once a few years ago. But I hear that England has a few, um, interesting sports to offer, too."

Sav made himself a cup of caramel-flavoured coffee while telling Jani about the flavours they had. "I think I'll give the hazelnut a try although you sound as if you don't find its taste very convincing," Jani said. "Are these, like, the only flavours they sell or did you pick these two for a particular reason?"

* * *

Jani chose to try the hazelnut flavour. If he liked it, that would mean not having to find a home for a dozen or so unused pods, which Sav was all for. He went about making Jani's coffee while he answered: "Okay, you have a point about weird contests. I suppose I do my best to forget about the annual cheese rolling, bog snorkeling and black pudding throwing most of the time. Oh, and hen racing; by that I mean chickens, rather than wives. 'Any comments about runny eggs and you'll be asked to leave'."

Sav had to admit, some of such yearly events were attended by thousands, even televised. Having grown up with that in the background, he had missed the 'fanfare' of them for twenty-odd years because of being on tour every summer. "There's others, too. My parents were keen on it, meaning I utterly rejected that sort of nonsense as a teenager," he added, "and I'm usually out of the country when they're, uh, performed. I haven't heard of what you said, but it seems the British sense of humour is as bizarre as the Finnish or vice versa. Monty Python, for example, although that, I do find funny. Ever watched any of that?" He smiled fondly at the memory of their TV series and movies. It had been years since he'd seen any of them.

Perhaps he was talking too much, Sav reflected. The momentary spike of panic he'd felt was gone, and he wanted to keep it that way. "Coffee... samples came with the machine and then the housekeeping service got more of those flavours. I had them buy enough groceries to get me through a couple of days when I was coming back from the States and these were what they picked. When we get more, we can also get flavoured syrups or creamer... I don't think our personal flavours would taste too great in coffee," he winked. "Better just as straight shots."

It could have got heated real fast, but the doorbell chimed. "Lunch is here, I'll get it!" With a smile at Jani first, Sav left the kitchen and went to answer the front door.

* * *

"I don't mean to sound arrogant, but as weird as our so-called sports sound, they're actually quite funny. When you say you'd rather forget about the ones you mentioned, it doesn't sound as if you enjoyed them. Still, is there any chance I could interest you in coming to see the air guitar championship next year? It's in Oulu, only an hour from Kemi, and I hope to have my own place by then." Jani grinned.

"Monty Python, I love them, along with several other British shows. Maybe we could watch some of those while I'm here? While we recover from, uh, other activities, as an alternative to watching our bands on DVD maybe?"

Jani watched Sav in the kitchen, loving how he moved. He wanted to approach him again, touch him, lick and kiss him, but their lunch was about to arrive, so it was better to wait than to be interrupted. Sav handed him a cup of the hazelnut-flavoured coffee and it was as nice as Jani had hoped, although Sav had a point that the scent and taste weren't the same. He giggled – and agreed – when Sav suggested that their own personal flavours should better not be taken with coffee.

It was then that their food arrived. Sav went to answer the door and Jani looked around in the kitchen until he found plates and cutlery in the cupboards. By the time Sav returned, he'd laid the table.

"I thought I'd make myself useful." The smile that was always on his face when he was with Sav widened into a mischievous grin. "Not that you think I'm in a hurry."

* * *

When Sav arrived back in the kitchen with the food, Jani had put plates, silverware and their coffees on the table. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "The smell of this is making me hungry. The sooner we dig in, the better." Hungry for food, and more. He knew Jani meant the same and Sav tipped his chin up to acknowledge it.

For a few minutes, they were occupied with opening containers and figuring out which dish was which. "Sweet and sour chicken, Mongolian beef, which is spicy. Chop Suey with vegetables only. This one has shrimp; I know you said you don't like seafood but I do, so I'll eat that. They're all combo meals so there's plenty of rice, and soup. Dig in!" Sav snagged the box with kung pao shrimp and set it on his plate. "Chopsticks?" he asked, finding them in the bag.

Since he hadn't had a chance to respond to Jani's invitation to visit Finland in time for the air guitar 'sport', he did so then. "An air guitar competition, like you mentioned, sounds like a good time, lots of laughs. If I can, I'd be happy to attend that with you. We can hope no one tries to emulate Phil, sometimes he's one O-face after another. The older he gets, the more of it he does," Sav giggled, jabbing his chopsticks into the food. He was semi-proficient with them, usually had to twirl the food around a bit before picking up a bite. "Lucky for me, he usually has his back to me when he does that. Guitarists – musicians – are a passionate bunch, though, so it stands to reason if it shows on their faces. We should finish that Sonata video sometime, not necessarily after lunch, and I suppose it's fair if we watch one Def Leppard as well. If you're still into it." He nudged Jani's foot lightly, under the table. "And we can make our own... faces."

Yep, he was ready for that again as soon as they were finished with lunch or whenever. Somehow, they'd managed not to get too worked up during the trip to the shops and the GP's. The minor... disagreement over which store and the appearance of the crazy chicks had something to do with that, he was aware. Now there was nothing stopping them. Sav's vision was doing that 'everything's too bright' thing he knew meant his pupils were dilated, and his dick was twitching in his pants. Ignoring it, he propelled more shrimp into his mouth. If Jani didn't like them, he'd have to brush his teeth before they kissed anyway. "It's Chinese and all, but this time we should be careful not to stuff ourselves too full." It went without saying: he wanted to stuff Jani full as soon as possible.

* * *

"I used to like shrimp and seafood," Jani elaborated, "and I _loved_ sushi. Until one night during a Japanese tour, after which I was sick for days. I'm not even sure that it was the food, but the memory kind of ruined it... Okay, wrong topic. I'll have some of everything but the shrimp," he concluded. "You look as if you're not too disappointed to have the shrimp for yourself, though," he winked. "And yeah, chopsticks. I promise I won't use them as drumsticks."

It was only now that he realised how hungry he really was and the scent of the food improved his already good mood. "The air guitar performances, most are so over the top that I can think of only a handful of guitarists who could get away with the moves and still play properly. To be honest, when I watched you in Milan and on youtube, I mean it that I watched _you._ So I can't really comment on Phil. And what's an 'O-face'?"

* * *

"'O' as in orgasm," Sav explained. No doubt he had a shit-eating grin on his face. "You know... the sort of thing you'd do, if your tongue wasn't already occupied, while blowing a huge load..." he had to reach under the table to adjust himself. "Although you... you're usually screaming so that's a different sort of thing than what Phil... nnnnggh!" Sav had to stop himself from dragging Jani upstairs to his bed right then and there. With a shaking hand, he tried to work his chopsticks. No luck. He set them down and picked up his fork. "Sorry... 15-year-old boy again."

* * *

"Oh." Jani blushed furiously when Sav described Jani's reaction when he was coming. "I, um, well... You do have a microwave, right?"

* * *

"Yes, of course I have a microwave. Over the stove." Sav was baffled at the question. Jani had been in the kitchen several times now: he must have noticed... Oh! The young man's face was nearly as red as his hair. It was paradoxical, how Jani made suggestive remarks left and right both in private and in public. Hell, he'd spent dinner in that Indian restaurant with Jani's foot in his crotch, but when Sav did it...

"Did I embarrass you? No one here but us." Sav reached over and cupped the side of Jani's heated face, ran his thumb under his lower lashes. "Too much? Sorry. I didn't mean like, _now_ now. Just messing. By that I mean bantering. Finish your lunch... I'm not that much of a heathen." Drawing back his hand, Sav smiled and picked up his fork again.

By now, having noticed that Jani tended to go for what Sav actually wanted – grudgingly – when Sav backed down, he half expected to be tackled to the floor. If not, well, he could wait. "I was thinking," he said casually, "could your ex send your pills overnight, by courier or the post, or is that illegal? Don't know why I didn't think of that earlier."

* * *

Sav took his face into his hands and caressed it. Jani sighed happily and smiled. It felt so good! Whatever Sav was doing with his hands, Jani loved it. But then Sav dropped them and told him to finish his lunch. Jani frowned. About to tell Sav that the few bites he'd eaten had taken care of the hunger so that he wouldn't mind a quick trip to the bedroom, Jani's eyebrows went up when Sav changed the topic and asked if Anni could send him his pills.

"I don't think it's illegal, given that your GP prescribed me pills with the same ingredient," he said, "but why should she still send them to me when I can get them here?"

* * *

"Well, if she sent them, you wouldn't have to spend more time in the doctor's office. That's all." Sav took another bite, chewed and swallowed. "I dunno. I'm probably not thinking clearly. If he wants to see you back, there must be a good reason." He'd fucked something up again; Sav could tell. What? Maybe he really was as thick has his profession's reputation suggested. "One of my brothers is a doctor, did I mention that? He's who recommended my GP out of those with practices around here."

* * *

"Mmh, this is good." Jani stuffed more food into his mouth, wondering if he, too, should switch to cutlery instead of chopsticks: Sav had given up on using the latter and Jani didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"I still think your GP just wants to make sure," he replied. It was what he hoped. "Also, now that he's drawn blood and all, it'd look funny if I don't return tomorrow for the results. I see your point, though, about not spending time apart." He smiled.

Then another thought occurred to him. "Um, that was okay that I didn't ask you to come with when I talked to the Doc, right?" It was probably a stupid thing to ask, so Jani hurried to refer to something else Sav had said. "So one of your brothers is a doctor. 'One' implies more siblings, what do they do for a living? Also, you said that you started work in a factory as a youngster. Your brother was lucky then, to achieve higher education. That he recommended your GP suggests he doesn't live in Sheffield any longer?"

* * *

"It probably is good for us to get out of the house at least once a day," Sav remarked. "I'll have to do a couple errands, like take some of my stage clothes to the cleaners and keep an acupuncture appointment as well, in two days from now. Food can be delivered, from the grocery store, too."

Besides the shrimp dish, Sav wanted some of the sweet and sour. It was never that good reheated, unlike the others. He helped himself, but already he wasn't hungry any longer so he only took two spoonfuls. "This take-away place has never disappointed me. I order from them nearly every time I'm at home on a break."

When Jani brought up his earlier visit to the GP, Sav struggled with what to say. The fact was, he wanted to stay close to Jani all the time, but it wasn't realistic. "We're both adults. I wouldn't expect you to bring me in with you unless it directly concerned me, say a possible contagion or something like that. There are rules about privacy and confidentiality, not that I'm well-versed. It's likely that they'd have stopped me, had I tried. Um...I might have been over the line in the Milan A&E but those were extenuating circumstances."

He went on, feeling more at ease, "My oldest brother's a doctor, yes, but I should have said because it's kind of misleading, not the seeing-patients sort. He had planned on that, but changed his mind later. He got a great job offer as a biochemist in San Diego, California, and lives there now. And yes... He was lucky, but also driven. My parents gave up a lot to keep him in school. And he got excellent marks so was given awards to help pay for university and beyond. My other brother, also years older than me, it was his guitar I learned on, is a chef. Rather than the factories, he always worked in restaurants and learned on the job. No sisters, a few cousins but we're not close."

Returning to the subject of medicine, Sav made a variation on the little speech his brother had once given him. "Close family members, like siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc., aren't supposed to treat each other medically these days. Too much emotional involvement, or something. To me, that's the opposite of how it should be, but then I've never had to perform surgery on a relative so I don't know."

"Anyway, here I am rattling on again. What do your family members do for work?" If Jani didn't want to say, that was alright. It seemed like a benign enough topic.

* * *

Jani nodded when Sav spoke about patient confidentiality, then went on to tell him what his brothers did for a living. "My sister is, I don't know what it's called in English, it's similar to a nurse. Maybe healthcarer describes it. She looks after sick people and does a lot of the things nurses do, like give them their meds including injections, take their blood pressure, blood samples, changes dressings, those kinds of tasks."

He ate some more and continued when he'd finished chewing, "Kemi has a university of applied sciences. One of the fields you can study there is healthcare. That's what she did. She still lives in Kemi and works for the city, not at the hospital; she visits people at home if they need care but aren't sick enough to be in hospital."

* * *

Sav listened to Jani, as he talked about his sister's profession. Jani wasn't bragging any more than Sav had been about his brothers, and he didn't hold back, so it seemed to not be a sensitive area. When he finished, Sav nodded. "I admire people who can do that for work. Just making small talk with strangers for a few minutes stresses me out sometimes, though you'd think I'd be used to it by now. People have called me arrogant, and eccentric, probably for not knowing what to say. I was actually quite shy, as a youngster, even through Def Leppard's first couple of albums. I had to get over it. Now, underneath it all, I probably still have insecurities about... you know. Bell's. It's stupid. Everyone knows about it by now." Oh yes, his share of the alleged Def Leppard curse, which magazines and later, articles online were only to happy to capitalise on. "Anyway... if talking is difficult, imagine that sort of interaction all day, people sick, bleeding, worse. You wouldn't just be talking, but having to touch them, help them... It takes a special type. You must be proud of her."

* * *

Was he proud of Eina? Jani hesitated. He'd never thought of his sister in those terms. "I don't know if or how much she talks with her patients," he finally said. "They're Finns, too," he explained dryly. "But it isn't as if she has to talk about anything personal that concerns her. More like, speak about the weather." He shrugged. "I don't think it's so different from our job when we talk to fans or in interviews. You just learn to deal with it. I don't like it either, at least not unless I'm drunk, but it's part of the job."

Jani looked at the remaining food and decided he'd had enough to eat. "This was nice," he said, not sure what to do next. They'd built up to this moment when they'd finished eating so that they could have sex again, but the talk they'd had over lunch didn't exactly strike him as foreplay. He knew it would take only a word – or a look – from Sav to get him into the mood again, but he didn't know if Sav would like to continue talking rather than jumping into bed again right now.

* * *

'She's a Finn.' Sav had to chuckle over that one. He got that now. Looking over, he saw that Jani had set his chopsticks down and was no longer eating. "Well, I've had enough lunch, for an hour anyway. I'll get this put away in the fridge." It wouldn't take too much effort, just closing up the boxes and then clearing the table. Sav stood, stretched, and set about his self-appointed tasks. He didn't ask for help. Thus far, Jani had joined in or taken initiative on simple chores whether asked or not. It was something Sav wasn't used to at all, and so he kind of forgot till Jani was already in the middle of whatever. Plus, since he still considered himself the host, his upbringing said he only asked for assistance if it was urgent, like if he were on the verge of burning or dropping something.

Soon enough, everything was in the fridge or dishwasher, depending. Sav turned to Jani. He decided the taste of the sweet and sour sauce should cover the shrimp. "So... dessert?" Damn, but he felt like he was stalking the younger guitarist, approaching him slowly but deliberately. How could his throat be so dry when he was drooling? As he had done during lunch, Sav brought his hand up to the side of Jani's face, this time moving closer to kiss his lips lightly, once, then again. The familiar rush of heat and energy surged through Sav. "Jani..." he rasped.

* * *

Again, Jani watched Sav bustle about in the kitchen. He'd have offered to help, but putting the remains of the lunch into the fridge two persons would only get into each other's way. Therefore, he stayed put at the table after stacking the plates. Sav put them in the dishwasher, although Jani remembered that Sav had said he preferred to wash up over using the machine. He'd planned to help Sav with that, but whether he'd contribute to the household chores later or not suddenly wasn't an issue any longer when he enjoyed the view of Sav's backside.

Then Sav turned to him again. As before, he touched Jani's face, but this time he didn't let go. Sav leaned in and soft lips touched Jani's once, twice. The kiss was so gentle and loving that it made Jani's heart soar. He closed his eyes and moaned softly as the warm feeling spread from his belly to further below, growing into heat when it reached his dick and balls. Even though Sav wasn't doing anything other than continuing to kiss him, fiery flames of lust licked along the base of Jani's dick, spread to his entrance, turned his knees into jelly.

Sav rasped his name and Jani felt dizzy with love, desire, everything he felt for this man. "Sav," he whispered back and then they were kissing again. Sav's lips were more demanding now, and Jani pressed his lower body against Sav, gasping when his erection ground against a like hardness.

Jani broke the kiss and whispered urgently, "Maybe we should... go find a bed..."


	5. Dessert

* * *

At first, it was only a few quick kisses, which quickly accelerated into full-blown making out. Sav groaned when Jani whispered his name and responded passionately, asking for more without words. Hearing his name uttered with such heat made his balls ache. Their arms wound around each other, tongues sliding, sharing breath. Soon, they were both hard and grinding against each other. Sav slid one hand up into Jani's hair, the other down to clutch at his arse, when Jani drew back and suggested they find a bed.

Damn, did he not want to interrupt this but fucking on the granite kitchen counter or stone floor would not make his knees happy. "Yeah, bed... upstairs!" A million miles away, and double that distance for having to navigate it with a hard-on. But it wouldn't be any less distant for standing there. Grabbing Jani's hand, Sav headed out of the kitchen, down the front hall, up the staircase. "The sheets on my bed aren't exactly clean," he managed to both think and say. He hadn't remade the bed he'd slept in two nights ago, either, but there were still plenty of spare bedrooms. "Wanna check one room off on your imaginary clipboard?" He lurched to the nearest door with a clean bed behind it and held it open for Jani.

* * *

If Jani would have told himself to take it slow, it would have been a lost cause. Maybe some time from now they'd be able to curb their impulses, but at this moment Jani's body was aching for 'now, hard, fast.' He squirmed in Sav's arms, desperate for purchase, groaning when Sav put his hands on his butt and pulled him even closer. At this rate, he'd ask to be bent over the kitchen counter within seconds unless he wanted to risk coming in his – Sav's! – jeans...

Suddenly, Sav let go of him and Jani whined with the loss of friction and warmth. Sav led the way upstairs, as Jani had suggested, opening the door to a bedroom Jani hadn't been in yet while explaining that the sheets on the bed they'd slept in earlier were dirty. Jani couldn't have cared less about clean sheets, but being slightly behind, he suddenly had another idea.

"I've never done it on the stairs," he blurted out. "D'you wanna be my first?" He grinned.

* * *

"Seriously?" Sav tipped back his head and laughed out loud. "The stairs? Well, that'll be a first for me, too." He wasn't lying. Yeah, he'd done it in a few odd settings but on the stairs wasn't one of them. "We'd better get naked first... don't even wanna think about trying to take your pants off while we're standing on risers."

He made good on his threat. Skimming off Jani's tee shirt, Sav went for his belt next, eyeballing the jeans. His jeans, that Jani was hard in. "Bet you're glad to be not quite as strangled, huh?" he snickered. The looser fit did absolutely nothing to hide the bulge behind the zipper. Sav honed in on it and rubbed his hand over it a few times before finally pulling down the zipper. He bent forward to lick the side of Jani's neck while he reached inside his pants, wrapping his hand around the pulsing erection inside, giving it a stroke or two. "You want me..." he moaned. He doubted he'd ever get over how much that turned him on, the mutual attraction. "And I want you so damned bad..."

* * *

"Yes, I want you," Jani said urgently. "I _need_ you..." Sav kissed and licked his neck, then rubbed his hand over Jani's erection until Jani was ready to beg for Sav to undress him. "Not strangled any more," he gasped, "but still wearing too much – nnhh..."

Sav's strong hand wrapped around his erection and stroked it firmly. "Please don't stop! No, wait, do stop, I... Need more!" A thought occurred to him and he forced himself to focus, take his attention off the wonderful feeling that was spreading from his groin.

"Sav," he gasped, "Sav, wait a sec. We'll need rubbers and stuff. Better get them now before it's too late and we're down to hands only."

* * *

"Right... just a second, I'll get it." He didn't, couldn't move right away; Sav shared another burning kiss with Jani first, then ducked into his bedroom and grabbed the necessary items out of the drawer of his bedside table. It only took a minute and when he returned, condom packet in one hand and bottle of lube in the other, Jani was still standing in the upstairs hallway. His fly was open enough to see the underwear beneath; Sav knew what was hidden within the straining fabric.

Holding up his finds like they were the holy grail, he padded over to Jani again. "You said you wanted to do this...?" Sav held out the condom still in its wrapper.

* * *

Keeping his hands off his dick while Sav dashed to the bedroom was maybe the hardest – talk about a pun! – thing Jani had done in his entire life. How was it possible to be so fucking – again, pun! – needy! The grin on Sav's face when he returned suggested that at least he wasn't the only one.

Sav held out the condom to him and Jani nodded vigorously. Yes, he wanted to do this. Right now, however, he still needed both his hands to undress his lover, and in a moment he'd need his mouth, too, so, "Could you hold on to it for another second?" he asked, wondering why his voice always turned so hoarse when he was about to have sex with Sav.

Jani quickly pulled Sav's zipper down – for some reason, the button of his jeans was always open already – and freed the thick erection from its confining underwear. There was moisture at the tip and Jani smiled as he leaned in and lapped at it. Sav made a gurgling sound and Jani's smile widened as he pushed the jeans down to Sav's thighs. He figured that that was enough – and more: somehow, the thought of Sav still being half dressed while he took Jani on the stairs excited him.

One day, he wanted to be with Sav without a rubber sheath between them, but that day hadn't come yet. He licked at Sav's erection again, then wrapped his mouth around it and sucked hard, once, twice, before taking the condom from Sav's hand. He could see tiny shivers running over Sav's flank while he rolled down the condom over the rock-hard dick and gave it a few firm strokes.

"I guess I'd better undress, too," Jani announced and quickly shrugged out of Sav's jeans and underwear. Then he knelt down on the stairs, assuming that this would work best if Sav took him from behind again. His own dick was begging for attention and about to drool on the carpet covering the stairs, so Jani put his shirt down to catch the fluid. Maybe he should wear a condom as well...

"Um, your carpet..."

* * *

'Patience is a virtue', the saying went. Though he had patience in what he did, Sav's inner patience was another story whenever Jani and sex were involved. For instance, he wanted and loved it when Jani put his hands on him, in this case to undo his jeans and push them down. Having a lover actually _want_ to take the time and effort to undress him: divine. Wanting to take over and just toss his clothes in ten seconds: without a doubt.

Letting Jani work was definitely worth it, though. His lover leaned down and licked at his leaking slit and more a few times; Sav groaned his appreciation of the hot little tongue on his most sensitive nerve endings. Jani didn't linger long. Instead, he gloved Sav with a proficiency that provoked another sort of admiration, then quickly stripped. Since he'd been here in Sheffield, Sav hadn't seen him naked in the full light of day. He let his eyes roam over every inch of Jani, head to toe, not just _those_ inches, making it clear he liked what he saw. The red-dyed hair was somehow even more noticeable against pale skin, and again Sav was drawn to the power of his thighs, as well as what was at the apex. Jani's dick stood up like a reddish-purple exclamation point, bouncing a little as he walked over to the top of the stairs and settled on his knees. How anyone had called him inadequate... it still pissed Sav off. Maybe he wasn't hung like a horse, but he was proportioned just fine for his overall height and build, and yeah, dicks were funny-looking but Jani's was... lovely, exquisitely male and hard as steel.

Shuffling with his pants around his knees, Sav grinned in amusement at Jani laying out his own shirt on the floor to protect the carpet. "It can be cleaned," he answered, "if we don't manage to, um, aim." He somehow got himself down the necessary steps to be behind Jani again without tripping or dropping the lube. Vertigo kicked in for a second, and Sav resolved not to look through the rails of the banister again. Instead, he pressed himself against Jani's bare backside, leaning forward so their bodies had as much contact as was possible in this position and wrapping his arms around his chest. "Mmmm..." he buried his nose in Jani's hair and inhaled. The position was perfect for him to access Jani's nipples, which he treated more carefully than before, barely touching as he circled the borders of the darker skin, then gently rolled the tips between his fingers and thumbs. When Jani writhed and pushed his butt against him, Sav pinched a bit harder. If the muffled little whines were any indication, Jani needed it bad, needed it _now._ "Gotta get you ready."

Unsure how sore he might be from the day before, he decided to take it a little faster than before; he could always slow down. Jani wouldn't need as much prep as the first couple of times, plus he was always so impatient with it, once they got going. Sav slicked his first two fingers. He slid his other hand to Jani's hip and warned, "Now..." Yeah, as if Jani didn't know. One finger was easy, and he wiggled in his middle finger as well. "More...?"

* * *

Sav told him the carpet wouldn't be a problem and Jani breathed a relieved sigh as this meant there wouldn't be any delay: he really didn't want to wait any longer. Considering how horny the two of them were at all times when together, he was surprised – and impressed – that they'd made it from early morning till now without jumping each others bones. Now that they were finally on their own, Jani's impatience reached the point of no return.

Thank goodness, Sav had better self-control. Although Jani wanted to scream that he didn't need any prep, that Sav should just go on and do him, a part of him was glad that his lover insisted on prepping him and thus making sure that Jani wasn't hurt in the process – Jani only accepted this delay because he knew he wouldn't be able to enjoy sex for days if they weren't careful.

So he forced himself to relax. Then Sav's hands found his nipples and rubbed them gently into stiffness before beginning to pinch them lightly, then firmer as Jani grew more aroused. Eventually, Sav withdrew his hands and declared he was now getting him ready. He put his hand on Jani's hip and slid a first finger in. Jani threw his head back and moaned. Oh yes, this was what he wanted! Only he needed more!

A second finger joined the first and Sav asked him if he needed more. Jani wanted more, he wanted everything, Sav's dick in him, all the way to the hilt. But he also knew he wasn't relaxed enough yet. He was probably aroused enough to enjoy even the pain of penetration, but the trust Sav put in him by asking deserved an honest answer.

"Want more," he pressed out, "but I'm not ready yet. Could you... touch me... inside...?"

* * *

"Yeah, Jani... gonna give you whatever you need." In this act, Jani had no trouble stating what he wanted and needed, what he liked and didn't, and it did things to Sav: hot, squirming, fluttering things. Since Jani couldn't see him nod, Sav made a noise of confirmation. Rotating his wrist slightly, he felt around for the walnut-sized lump inside that was Jani's pleasure gland. There! With both fingers, he stroked its upper surface, moving in and out, adding more lube, working in his ring finger though the stretch took some time.

"There you go... touching that hot spot for you," he whispered. Sav pressed into the spongy bump more firmly, then less, tickling juices out of Jani. He couldn't wait to slide in, couldn't wait to join them together and let his body free deep inside his lover. "Need you so bad, need to take you... want you..." he groaned. Maybe his words weren't eloquent or even imaginative. All Sav knew was, weird setting, aching knees (and balls!) and facing Jani's back instead of being able to kiss him freely, he'd do his damnedest to make it good, better than good, always the best.

He rutted against one of Jani's buttcheeks to take the edge off a little. By now, Sav had scissored his three fingers wide and added his pinkie. "Please, Jani, please...!" There he was, reduced to begging. Drops of silvery pre-cum began to ooze out of him into the condom; he could only imagine what a mess Jani was already making on his shirt.

* * *

"Uuhh... nnhh..." Sav slid his fingers into him again, deeper this time, and immediately found this miraculous place that sent a rainbow of sparks up Jani's spine. "Yes, there, right there..." he squirmed and pushed back, then held still, allowing Sav's fingers to do whatever they were doing. "Oh sweet god, yes!"

Jani's brain was overloaded with pleasure, yet he also noticed that Sav had continued to stretch him open. "I... mmnnaah! 'm ready for you now... Want you... Please, Sav, need to feel you in me!"

* * *

Deep satisfaction that he had made Jani plead for his dick filled Sav, but that wasn't enough. He needed the actual sensation. "Yessss..." he hissed, sliding his fingers free and moving into position, or as best he could in this semi-precarious place. Jostling Jani's knees wider with his own, Sav lunged. "Oh gawd...!"

His pelvis, led by his dick, had its own mind. Sav needed in, in, Jani could take it, he'd had four fingers. He thrust, drew back, did it again till he was in so far it was a wonder his balls didn't get sucked in as well. Finally he bottomed out and stopped, moving Jani's hair aside and kissing his shoulder, the back of his neck, the knob of vertebra at the top of his spine. "Y'alright?" panted Sav. He managed not to thrust, to give Jani time, just rocking his hips, rooting.

* * *

And then they were there. Sav pulled his fingers out and for a moment, Jani felt empty, but it lasted only a second until something bigger nudged his entrance. Sav thrust in and Jani's back arched when the thick head passed his tight muscle. From there on it was push-pull, rocking deeper and deeper until Jani knew that he'd taken Sav all the way in. He felt stretched, impossibly wide open and vulnerable, but at the same time the vulnerability was complemented by his trust in Sav, which made it so emotionally overwhelming that he could almost cry from it. Nobody had ever made him feel like this before, only Sav. Now that Jani was learning to relax so that it didn't hurt at all when Sav took him, claimed him, he was soaring.

Sav asked him if he was alright and Jani nodded, afraid that he'd really start crying if he spoke – not because he didn't want to admit to his feelings but because he didn't want Sav to be worried by an unexpected reaction. Then Sav began to move inside him, with more determination now, rooting around until he hit _that spot,_ over and over again. Every time Sav touched his secret gland, Jani felt the pleasure explode inside him and liquid squirt from his dick.

It was so incredibly good and he knew that he'd come from it eventually, but he needed to come _now!_ Jani sunk down on one elbow so he could push back against Sav's thrusts and also have one hand free to wrap around his erection and stroke himself firmly and quickly.

"Gonna come, Sav," he whimpered. "Gonna come, need it so bad..."

* * *

It was gonna be over fast. He didn't mind. Once Sav hit bottom and Jani nodded he was alright, not hurting, it was all motion, together like a rough and explicit dance. Their bodies thudded together with each impact, the slicked motion bringing Sav close, fast. Below him, Jani was mostly silent, but he moved in sensual twists of his body that Sav knew he would never be able to fake, and it just amped up his heat.

"Yeah Jani... oh hell... feels so fucking good!" He sped up, letting the demands of his leaden balls dictate his pace. At some point, Jani lowered his head, leaning on his elbow. Sav took the opportunity to lay himself over the younger man's back, though he braced one hand near Jani's elbow so as not to put his full weight on him. It was unmistakable that Jani's other arm was busy below him, and that he was wanking himself off. Sav loved it, how his knees pushed Jani's open and their thighs touched, their skin back to front... he reached around, using the rhythmically moving limb as a guide, and slid his own hand to Jani's and laced their fingers together around his dick.

"You need to come, huh? You can come... wanna feel you do it, shoot through our fingers..." Sav kept slamming that spot. He could feel his own release start to pull tight into his arse, lower back, legs and balls. "Gonna come in you..." in the condom, of course, "everything I have..." Again he accelerated his thrusts, every one of them pulling a tortured, choked-off moan. Sav knew he swelled when he was just about to erupt; Jani was so tight around him now, he really had to push, which felt even better. Mouth open, head back as far as he dared, he started to moan aloud, curse words falling all around them and he couldn't hold back.

* * *

"Sav, Sav!" The constant pounding on his prostate made Jani feel as if he was connected to a live wire inside him. Then Sav's hand joined his on his dick, tightened and sped up, took over. Jani knew that he wasn't going to hold back even though he wanted it to last, but there was no chance. Sav told him to come, that he wanted to feel him coming, then announced that he, too, was close.

Jani's eyes bulged as Sav not only sped up his thrusts but there was clearly more resistance now, more friction – Jani's muscles tensed as he was hurled toward his climax and Sav seemed to grow inside him. The hand around his on his dick tightened, Sav cursed and moaned, joining Jani's groans and gasps.

Then Sav's rhythm faltered and he slammed into Jani so hard that Jani wondered for a brief moment if Sav was trying to push him up the stairs. A second later, all thoughts were flushed from his brain when his orgasm hit. He screeched as the first load of lava burned its way through his dick, immediately followed by a second, a third, a... Jani cried out with each pulse, his body throbbing and clenching as he shuddered through his climax.

Sav's hand and dick continued to milk him even after he was finished, but just as it was becoming too much, Sav stopped moving. He covered Jani's shaking form with his, still buried deeply inside him. Jani felt drained – in a good way, the best way possible, but still drained – and the warmth of Sav's solid body above him felt as right as not much had ever before.

"Sav, I..." Jani began, about to let his emotions take over when he noticed how wide he'd shot. "I think I ruined your carpet after all."

* * *

For a moment or two, they plateaued, time and space were meaningless. The expression "fucking like bunnies" came to mind. Well, Sav wasn't rutting at that speed. He'd seen some kid's pet rabbits go at it when he was young, two male rabbits actually – that had been his first glimpse at the idea of homosexuality. And they'd been ferocious about it. He and his pre-teen mates had laughed their arses off. Today, it was no laughing matter, it was a matter of Jani screeching to the rafters, of his jizz spurting out from below him and stroking him through the sticky explosion, then coming in almost painful jets, flooding the condom, all of Sav's porno dialogue dissolving into a wordless scream of love and lust combined, completed.

Almost immediately after, his arm gave out and Sav, panting for air leaned harder on his lover's body. He gathered his strength, still shaky with aftershocks. This was when Jani had needed his support – his emotional support – before, right after they'd both let go for each other. This time, Jani snorted with laughter and the announcement that he'd ruined the carpet.

Sav laughed, too, another sort of release. "Aye, saw you do it, too, saw how you sprayed like a human fountain. So much! Fucking hell!" He thought it was sexy as hell, but refrained from voicing it. Compliment, and all. "The carpet will be fine, it has a stain-resistant coating." He felt like giggling. "Just a light housekeeping job. Your shirt... should probably get it into the washing machine or a sink before that dries." Now that all his limbs felt weak and rubbery, Sav was more aware of their semi-precarious position. If their knees slipped...

Luckily, he was able to pull out easily, and once he stripped the condom from his shrinking dick and tied it off, Sav crawled around Jani to sit at the top of the stairs. "Well that was... something else! I might prefer a bed," Sav rubbed at his knees, "but what we just did was adventurous. Good idea that you had."

* * *

Jani frowned, glad that Sav couldn't see it. He felt bad about the carpet, but, as he'd announced earlier, Sav waved it aside. Jani swallowed the apology that was already on his tongue and decided to follow Sav's lead. He managed a laugh although it was a little forced.

Then Sav pulled out and Jani winced. When Sav sat at the top of the stairs, Jani sat on a lower step, making sure that only one butt cheek was touching the ground. He'd be fine in a minute, but right now he didn't really want to sit down. When Sav complimented him on his idea of doing it on the stairs despite announcing that he preferred a bed, Jani's formerly forced laughter turned into real giggles.

Blushing a little – which wouldn't be noticed what with his face flushed from the sex – he succeeded in not looking away when he admitted, "The stairs, um, that wasn't really my idea." The red on his face deepened and probably spread on his chest, too. "I watch porn, you know."

* * *

"I've been known to watch porn on occasion, too. I'd say most blokes have. Ninety-nine percent of it was the hetero type," Sav revealed, feeling sheepish. "Despite what you might think. So much of the usual scenarios: pizza man, cable guy, plumber, the occasional threesome... whatever you watched must have been slightly more imaginative." If there was such thing as porn with an actual plot, he'd yet to find it.

Jani got himself turned around and perched on a step lower than Sav. He was being careful _not_ to sit down entirely, which was understandable. It wouldn't be right to make him sit on a hard surface when they had so many other options. Plus, they were now sweaty and a bit sticky. "What do you say we get ourselves cleaned up, and then I'll deal with the other clean-up," Sav suggested.

* * *

Jani blushed even more when Sav admitted that he, too, watched porn on occasion. Jani, on the other hand, remembered times when he'd spent entire days watching porn, one hand down his pants, the other on a beer bottle. Those days were a long time ago, but still...

"I never watched anything but hetero... okay, and girl-on-girl action, but never guys. Good to know that it finally paid off," he smirked. "I'll try to remember if there's anything else that could be interesting for us. Not that we need any outside sources, of course. What we've been doing so far was... Well, I needn't tell you, right?" Jani smiled.

"As for cleaning up, definitely. Maybe we should deal with the carpet first before, um, _it_ dries up. Um, cold water should do the trick here. I'll help, of course, if you'd just tell me where I can find a bucket or bowl and a cloth."

* * *

"You don't need to tell me, no, but if you _want to_ I'm good with listening to it," Sav grinned. "Dunno about you, but an occasional affirmation of my right to an ego about certain skills is not unwelcome." He chuckled again, and stood up, taking a step back, away from the stairs.

The whole spoiled rock star thing became glaringly obvious again when Jani offered to help with clean-up. "This is another of those things I should be embarrassed to admit but other than down in the cellar, and I'm not going down there naked, I'm not sure where the cleaning supplies might be," Sav told him. "There's a bathroom mid-way down the hall, there might be some in there and for sure there'll be water and cloths." He held a hand out to Jani, whom he thought might appreciate the assist standing considering the tender arse.

* * *

Jani took Sav's hand and let himself be pulled up, ending right in Sav's arms. He laughed. "Here's a reason why bed trumps stairs," he said. "I found what we just did very hot – you said I could tell you," Jani grinned, "but I also like to relax a little afterward, and stairs don't really offer the same level of comfort as a bed," he winked.

"So, lead the way to the bathroom. I want to clean myself up, too, not just the carpet. And maybe we could lie down for a minute after that. The urge is taken care of, but I still want to feel you. Unless you have other plans, of course, I'd suggest some rest now, then the guitar room?"

* * *

After accepting Sav's hand, Jani sort of flew up into his arms. Welcoming the chance to hold his lover, even for a moment, Sav savoured their hug. What was it about this man? He felt like his chest might explode with the feelings of love and elation coursing through him.

"Works for me," Sav said of Jani's plan. "I'll always go for laying with you. And yeah, we can play... guitars."

Other than getting the obvious goo off the carpet, Sav wasn't too concerned about the floor. He'd rather see to Jani's comfort. Though he didn't want to, he led Jani down the hall to the bathroom. There were washcloths in the cupboard as expected, also some sponges and some sort of cleaning fluids, although they seemed to be more for cleaning tile and porcelain. "I don't want to bleach the colour out of the rug by using the wrong product. Water it is, then."

He tossed two sponges in the sink, then two plain white washcloths, and saturated them with cold water. After wringing them out, he handed one of each to Jani and took the others, himself, and then grabbed a couple of dry towels. "I have no idea what I'm doing. This might be an exercise in futility." They returned to the top of the stairs, and Sav knelt down. The white streaks had turned clear, making them more difficult to see. "Could you flip that light switch, please?" he asked Jani, pointing.

* * *

"Sure." Jani switched the light on and they went to work. "You know, you could pretend that you're wiping it off of me. Although," he grinned, "in that case you'd probably use your tongue, which I don't recommend for carpet cleaning."

They got up a little later when it looked as if they'd removed all traces, at least it wasn't possible to distinguish the stains from the moist carpet. "Just wondering, if your cleaning person asks you what the stain is from so they can choose the best soap or whatever, what would you tell them? Milk?"

* * *

Now that their chemistry – individual and collective had normalised, Jani seemed to be in good spirits. And why not? They'd put off sex since early morning. Even that made it seem like they'd waited years, and it had been quick but intense. "If I'm going to get hair on my tongue, I'll take yours over carpet fibres," Sav said dryly. "Did you have something that you want licked?" he asked, as innocently as he could with the leer on his face. Then he winked. They went back to wiping up the mess as best they could with the damp sponges.

"As for what I would tell the real cleaning staff... good lord. Milk of Jani? They'd probably take that for some sort of skin care product. I could just say it's sperm and they wouldn't bat an eye. One of the perks of, well, you know. Okay, let's put these in the bathroom for now, and have a lie-down."

He'd deal with putting things away and doing the laundry later. Leaving the used sponges and cloths in the sink, they proceeded to Sav's bedroom. Earlier, he'd made some comment about sticky sheets – now he didn't even care, but Jani had mentioned washing. "Wash first, or after?" he asked. "Makes no difference to me, other than when to change the sheets."

* * *

"Wash after." The decision wasn't hard. "I want to feel you now. We can wash and change the sheets later. Hm, just wondering, we're probably going to run through a lot of sheets in the next couple of days. I'm kind of assuming that your cleaning service won't come while I'm here? Maybe we should do some laundry soon. Also, I didn't bring a lot of clothes, but that's fine since you already offered that I can wear yours." Jani beamed. "Which I intend to exploit, but first, you. Me. Bed. Now."

* * *


	6. Afternoon Nap

* * *

The decision was easy. The second Jani said 'wash later', Sav crawled up onto the huge mattress, into the middle where he laid on his side propped up on one elbow. "I have something like five spare sheets for this," he rolled his eyes, "because I kept trying higher and higher thread counts. We can do laundry soon, I'll need to anyway. The cleaning service won't be back till after I've left for the next leg of the tour, no worries there. I handle it on my own when I'm home, mostly, and they come through every other week otherwise, mainly for dusting and to make sure everything is working. If I need something different, I just call. ...C'mere," he invited. "You said it best: wanna feel you."

They'd said they'd finally get around to music after this. Sav wanted that, but he was in no hurry because the thought of holding his lover in his arms in the utopian harmony he – they – felt when it was just them and nothing was wrong was first in his mind.

* * *

"Well, I said I want to share normal, every day life with you," Jani replied as he joined Sav in bed and stretched out next to him. Shivering a little, he let himself be pulled into Sav's arms and returned the hug, pressing his body against his lover. "But I also want to spend a lot of time just being with you, feeling you, tasting and smelling you, touching you over and over."

He nuzzled Sav's shoulder with his nose. "I can't seem to get enough of you."

* * *

"Same here..." Sav gathered Jani into his arms and held him tightly for a moment. He felt a shiver from the guitarist, and used his foot to bring the quilt within reach to pull it over them. "All of that," he added quietly. "Mmm, you feel so good, perfect... right now, nothing else matters."

Hoping that wasn't too cheesy, Sav stroked Jani's long, soft hair where it fell down his back and onto the sheet due to gravity. Jani was a little further down the bed, rubbing against Sav's shoulder with his face. Turning his head, Sav kissed Jani's forehead. On pure instinct, he didn't even think about it, the fingers of one hand, his pick hand, found Jani's nipple. He didn't pinch or flick, only stroked as lightly as he could. Jani's warm breath fanning out across his neck made Sav shiver, too, but definitely not with cold.

No, he wasn't starting something. It was physically impossible at the moment. He still pressed himself against Jani as much as he could, wanting every square inch of them possible to touch.

* * *

"I, this, skin on skin," Jani whispered against Sav's neck. He slid a thigh between Sav's legs and sighed happily. Then Sav's hand caressed his chest and grazed his nipple. "Mmmhhh," he purred.

This was how it, they, everything, had begun in Milan. Jani didn't know if the touch had been accidental or deliberate; it didn't matter.

"I wish we could stay like this forever."

* * *

"Yeah... mmmm." Laying there twined together, touching each other, it was perfect just as he'd said Jani was, almost too perfect. Sav wasn't ready to give it up. He closed his eyes.

They were already coming up on having spent 24 hours together here in his home town counting the drive back from Heathrow, and it was going by so fast. How did other people who had only limited time with their significant others learn to handle it? Both of them, himself and Jani, in bands... even after Jani's required service was over, this would be their life for years and years, if they were still together. Sav's bandmates' track records with marriage and divorce weren't as bad as some but not wonderful, and not like he'd go to any of them for advice, anyway.

Pushing those thoughts away, Sav focused on the warm, solid body against his, and the person who lived in it. He wiggled down so they were eye level, waiting for Jani to look at him. It was possible he'd fallen asleep, between the sex and now the wonderful relaxation and warmth. Rather than speak, Sav kissed his lips.

* * *

Sav scrambled down and Jani moved his head back a little so he could meet his lover's eyes. They looked at each other for a few seconds, then Sav closed the distance again and kissed him.

Kissing back, at first only their lips touched. Sav's lips were incredibly soft and gentle. They induced a kind of warmth in Jani's belly that couldn't be more different from what they'd just shared on the stairs. It was tender and sensual and Jani loved every second of it.

Then, Sav opened his mouth and let his tongue tip trace Jani's lips. Jani opened his mouth, too, but for now he just lay there, enjoying, letting Sav explore. When Sav slipped his tongue into Jani's mouth, Jani sighed happily and greeted the organ with the tip of his own tongue, probing, playing, teasing.

As Sav had said, this was perfect.

* * *

They traded easy kisses for long moments, staring into each other's eyes, mostly Sav plying his tongue and Jani allowing him free rein to map out every feature. Everything, like a bubble around them, was stillness and peace, and love. When Jani did slide his tongue against Sav's, or minutely move his fingers, Sav's nerves zinged and trembled. After a while, he trailed his hand across Jani's chest to his other nipple, which he stroked as gently as a newborn kitten, with one finger tip.

He knew, he could feel it, that he would start to get hard again if they stayed much longer. It would take quite a while before he could get it up enough to do anything about it, but Jani might find it distracting or intrusive. Before any such twitching began, Sav murmured, "Wanna get cleaned up now, or do you feel like a nap?"

* * *

Kissing slowly and languidly, Jani's dick filled a little. There was no way he was ready for actual sex, but lying in Sav's arms was as good as full-on sex in its own way. Then Sav stroked Jani's nipple, carefully, using a single finger. The tiny bud stiffened under the gentle touch and a wave of warmth spread in Jani's belly. He was – they were – in heaven.

When Sav asked him if he wanted to get up and wash or nap for a while, Jani smiled. Extending a hand and running it over Sav's chest, he said, "What about a third option where we just stay like this?"

* * *

Third option? Staying as they were. "Mmm, yeah, I'm all for it," Sav said. "So long as you understand that certain things are bound to come _up_ after a while..." he wiggled his hips a little. Oh, okay! He wasn't the only one, there. Jani wasn't up for it yet either, nor was he entirely soft. Apparently Sav had been too zoned out and relaxed to even notice, which was unusual to say the least. Then Jani ran a hand over his chest and that was all it took, though the physical response was sluggish. Sav's nipples tightened as opposed to his dick growing instantly hard. "Well, you know," he stated belatedly.

They resumed kissing, maybe not quite as lazy as before but still languid. He wasn't sleepy, not with the anticipation of arousal like a low-level hum in his veins. Sav let his fret hand drift up and down Jani's back and eventually lower, tracing his crack but not asking for more. Still less than half hard, he wondered aloud, spur of the moment, "Now that you know about your spot, you know, on the inside... how do you rate it being in play, as compared to whatever you've known before? I see how strongly it... gets you off."

* * *

They kissed and caressed each other for another while. Jani wondered if, once their precious few days together were over, he'd miss this more or the sex. Both, he decided. He'd also miss the talks they had, the coffee... But most of all he'd miss feeling Sav, his warmth, his... love.

When Sav asked how Jani rated having his prostate stimulated in comparison to what he'd known before, Jani thought about it. It took him only a few seconds to come to the conclusion that regardless of how much he'd ponder the question, he wouldn't be able to compare the two.

"It's, I love it," he said. "As you must have noticed," he quipped, "but I can't say what I like more. It's like comparing apples to pears. What I can tell you is that I love it when you... play with... both. Like, one the stairs, with you in me and your hand wanking me. Or the other day when you... blew me and... fingered me at the same time. That was... man, incredible."

Jani's heart beat accelerated while he spoke. "What about you?"

* * *

Jani unexpectedly turned the tables, but Sav figured he shouldn't be surprised to be asked the reciprocal question. He too had to take a minute to gather his thoughts for a coherent answer. "I noticed," he began, with a smile. "The shrieks gave it away. It wasn't really a leading question; what goes on physically and mentally don't always match up."

Regarding his own preferences, Sav decided to be forthright, and he'd deal with any embarrassment over being 'too' honest later. "Keep in mind, my partners for the last 15 years have all been women. In all that time, none of them asked if I wanted that sort of thing, and I never asked them for it. It's... erm..." Why was he getting shy about it now, when he'd asked Jani a closely-related question and would have been disappointed had he declined to answer. "I can finger myself or use toys of course, but I... I rarely do so. Maybe it's because it's not the real thing, or because it brings up old memories... not sure. I have to be really, _really_ fucking needy, like bitch-in-heat needy with no chance of getting laid before I resort to it."

Sav swallowed hard, recalling the last time he'd 'resorted to it'. For now, he decided not to reveal what he'd done, weeks before they had first come together in Helsinki. "Like you, I enjoy both apples and pears," he smiled. "And bananas. And, for example, watching you, feeling you learn how to blow me is... in the top ten of all time. And, we've only begun this but I also already know that... making love face to face with you under me is like," Sav squinched his face. "I don't use that expression for sex, never, ever. But that's what it feels like."

* * *

Listening intently, Jani was keen on finding out what Sav had to say about being touched inside. Of course, he'd discussed sex with his mates as a teenager, but that had been about being with girls; even masturbation hadn't been a topic, let alone anything related to what was perceived as gay.

He wasn't sure if he understood Sav right, though. Maybe he should have made more clear what exactly he'd meant with the apple and pear reference. And then...

"What are bananas?" Jani blurted out.

* * *

Bananas... Sav hadn't really thought about how he'd label each fruit versus sexual preference or whatever, correspondingly. He kissed the side of Jani's neck, and thought fast.

"Well, if apples is getting fucked with a reach-around, and pears is to be simultaneously blown and fingered, then bananas, that's male-male, too, for when the person in question does the, uh, work." Sav felt like he was in primary school, using this type of verbiage. But that was his fault for trying to be clever. "That's probably complicating things, huh?"

* * *

"Oh, right. See, I was thinking apples for dick, as in what I knew before I met you, and pears for, um, inside," Jani explained. "So apples and bananas would be the same thing... or not... or... Maybe we should just forget that I started this analogy."

He thought for a moment, then continued, "I noticed – understatement of the millennium – that you like fucking... making... You know what I mean. I'm going to miss that, but I'm not sure if I could... use toys or fingers." Jani laughed nervously. "Good thing that I also love my penis, right?"

* * *

"'I love my penis'," Sav giggled. "You're too much! ...which means I think you're funny. Yes, that is a good thing! I love mine, too, or for sure I appreciate having one, and that it works. Because, as you said – understatement – I like fucking. Especially, you." He rutted against Jani's hip, demonstrating that things were working. The conversation was strange, but it turned him on, anyway. Add that to his pile of freak.

"Since statistically almost 90 percent of people claim to be straight, and since straight men aren't generally into being touched back there, I'm guessing most blokes don't use toys on themselves. Or even fingers. The slang term for a man getting fingered is "tossing the salad", no clue how that came about." Once again, he was doing a lot of the talking, and Sav wondered what, if anything, he was truly being asked. "I have a few toys... gathering dust in my closet," he confessed. "When you're here, I certainly have no need for them."

No need, and no desire. Now that he'd found this person and had him in his life, Sav didn't know how he'd ever look at anyone else, or touch anyone else, no matter how long it had been since he'd seen Jani. Maybe it would change after a long time apart, but he didn't want to think about it. Sav went in for another kiss, a little more insistent, with a lot more groping of Jani's arse.

* * *

"Tossing the salad?" Jani giggled, too. "I never heard that expression, but as you said, most men probably don't do it, and I can imagine that even those who do don't talk about it." He turned serious. "I don't think I could speak about this to anyone other than you, and I thank you for your... honesty."

Sav had said that he 'could' do it but that he rarely did because it wasn't the real thing or brought back memories. From what Sav had told him about Steve, Jani understood that these were painful memories. As tempted as he was to satisfy his curiosity and ask Sav about the toys in his closet – maybe, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought, even ask Sav to teach him how to use them so he could play with this incredible spot inside him when they were separated again – Jani decided to keep his mouth shut: the last thing he wanted was to stir up painful memories.

"I'm glad to hear that you don't need toys while I'm here," he said instead.

* * *

Sav nodded at Jani's thank you, but said no more about that, of Jani's trust in him. The subject matter they were discussing was private, not between them per se but in general between people. If one couldn't trust their lover, who could they trust?

Toys, though... "Any time you get curious to try or want a demonstration, I volunteer," Sav told him. "No pressure, though. And you're glad I don't need 'em eh?" Sav rolled on top of Jani and insinuated himself between his legs. "This glad?" he grinned, rocking his pelvis and arching his back. "All this talk..."

* * *

A demonstration? What exactly was Sav offering, that he use a toy on himself or on Jani? Make that, 'in', not 'on', Jani's brain corrected. He wanted to ask but despite trusting Sav, he didn't dare to. Thankfully, he was spared a reply to the suggestion because Sav rolled him on his back and laid on top of him.

When Sav wiggled in between his thighs, Jani couldn't miss that his lover was hard again. So was Jani. Okay, not all-the-way hard, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to go again – on the other hand, he didn't doubt that Sav could make him come whenever he wanted to.

"This glad," he smiled and pressed back.

* * *

Jani smiled up at him and confirmed both with words and the action of pushing upwards enough for Sav's hard-on to come into contact with Jani's almost-erection, that he wasn't out of line. They'd been lying there quietly, feeling each other as Jani put it before, till Sav had opened his mouth. Now, he wanted that back. He resolved to take things slow, till Jani was begging for him in whatever way that turned out to be.

Careful to keep the full weight of his upper body off Jani, Sav brought their lips together again, slid his tongue against Jani's; he couldn't get enough of kissing him. Though he already had, Sav didn't want to move, but at the same time, he did. To that end he continued the delicate pace of almost bump, almost grind, his spine tense with the need to undulate. Below, he was acutely aware now of every twitch and pulse of Jani's member against him.

Widening his knees, he curved his back so that he could almost reach Jani's nipples, but then had to wiggle down the bed some. Sav blew on each of them, a stream of air that was probably cool by the time it reached the areolae. Starting on Jani's left, he flicked out his tongue to lick each little bud a few times, one then the other, then back again. The buds pulled diamond hard and seemed to swell; Sav smiled a little at the reaction to his treatment. His licks became suction, first light, then more, then back to licking. Ever since he'd had time to reflect on Jani's sensitivity, he'd been wanting to do this, to lay on him and love his chest with the care and attention he... deserved. Jani's laboured breathing and the steely-hot dick pressed into Sav's belly gave him an indication Jani appreciated it, too.

* * *

If Jani had thought he was in heaven before, now he knew that he really was there: Sav was making love – there was nothing else to call it – to Jani's nipples. He began with gentle licks and kisses, blowing on the wet nubs and making him shiver with delight. Then Sav tugged on them a little more firmly until Jani was gasping so hard that he thought he'd never be able to breathe again, which made Sav ease up on the suction and apply soft licks again.

Left, right, left, right, Jani was going mad with desire, grinding his raging erection against Sav's belly. The wetness between them confirmed that he was leaking like crazy – and couldn't Sav see how badly Jani needed to be fucked? Okay, he was a little sore, so maybe having Sav inside him wasn't the best idea until his entrance had recovered a little, but he _wanted!_

Sav chuckled and Jani realised that the bassist knew exactly what he was doing as he resumed to tease Jani's nipples. His little nubs were stiff and erect, becoming more and more sensitive under Sav's tongue, lips, and... yes, teeth! Suddenly, Sav bit down hard on one of the swollen tips and Jani cried out, pain and pleasure warring with each other as his back arched and his head thrashed on the pillow.

"Sav, p-please..." Jani begged, but although he could feel how hard Sav was against his thigh, Sav just smiled at him and resumed gently kissing his chest.

* * *

Oh yes, this was exactly what Sav wanted: Jani writhing around, unable to hold still, his head thrashing side to side, long red strands flying this way and that. He was grinding up against Sav's abdomen with enough abandon that he did need to hold him in place to continue teasing his nipples. Damn, he loved the feel of a male body pushing up, almost fighting him. Sav bit one of the buds, hard but not enough to break the skin, and Jani cried out in wordless desperation. Between them, a layer of slick accumulated and spread as Jani leaked pearl droplets, always so much with him. Sav, too, was dripping, making a damp spot under him as he dragged his dick a few inches forward and back along the sheet.

Then Jani did beg with words, his voice gone hoarse. "Please, what?" Sav asked sweetly, just as sweetly licking both nipples. "Tell me what you want, Jani." He scratched his nails along Jani's flank, lower, grabbed at his thigh and wiggled further down, kissing the lower part of the flat chest below him, down the midline of his torso to his navel, then he started back up. If that wasn't the ultimate tease, then nothing was. But dammit, he would get an answer or he'd keep torturing Jani's taut little nubs till he came from it.

With Jani panting so hard, his ribs expanded and contracted rapidly. Even his nipples moved slightly from the effort. Sav returned there and redoubled his strategy of alternating soft licks with sucking and biting. By now, he was starting to feel the ache between his legs that meant he needed to come soon or it would hurt. Well, he decided, then he'd hurt so good. "Anything, Jani," he whispered as a reminder.

* * *

"What I – nnnhh! – want," Jani gasped under the ongoing sensual assault on his nipples, "is for this... this... never to... end..." He was so aroused that he could barely speak. "B-b-but wh-what about – mmh, yes, there, right there! – you?"

* * *

"Oh, don't worry 'bout meh," Sav purred, as he continued to lap at one tiny point. "This is all," lick, "about," lick, "your pleasure..." bite! He decided to be merciful, as far as that went, and offer a 'hint'. Leaning his weight on his other elbow, he repeated the earlier motion, more carefully due to his shoulder, of running his nails down Jani's side, over his hip, and down his thigh... then up the inner surface. "I could also show this some love. If you want."

Jani's hole was still slick with lube from before, but Sav took care with his approach, slow so Jani could stop him, and when he didn't, only brushing the tight little band of muscle, which clenched and pulled away at first. Jani shuddered hard. "Yeah...?" Sav raised his head and blew across Jani's chest. Gawd, he was seriously gonna start humping the mattress any second! He could feel a hot little spurt of fluid against his abs, some serious throbs of Jani's dick, and from what he could see, the guitarist's back was arched sharply as he offered his chest for Sav's further sampling.

* * *

Sav continued to tease his nipples and Jani was writhing under his licks and kisses when Sav trailed his hand down his body, between his legs, between them. Jani spread his thighs wider, urging Sav to move his hand further, to touch the place he'd until so recently considered a no-go. When Sav's finger followed his unspoken request and circled his tiny entrance, Jani shuddered hard.

Sav asked him, "Yeah?" and all Jani could reply was a breathless, "Yeah!"

* * *

Without being asked but because he was totally gone with need, Jani spread his thighs wide to give more access. The trust he implied with the position and the invitation as well as the image of absolute wantonness, both, left Sav without words. Rather, he grunted an affirmative and wiggled in a fingertip.

Not long before, he'd been inside here, all of him, a raging erection at full sail and then some. The resistance was less. Though he'd given Jani a suitable and rude retort for birds who found him inadequate in the dick department to this effect, Sav didn't find the slightly looser fit unappealing in the least. With plenty of lube still coating Jani's walls, he was able to slide one, then two fingers inside him easily. That was all he'd give Jani for now, would either stimulate his prostate till Jani lost it or take him all the way.

Moving the two digits in and out, Sav shifted so he could rut his dick against Jani's thigh. In, out, so slick, so hot... he found his goal inside, confirmed when Jani convulsed under him, almost throwing him off. Sav hooked his fingers and pressed, let up and stroked the spot he knew would reduce his lover to tears or screams or both. So hard to control himself! His whole being surged with the need to slide home and just _take!_

Sav registered his own moans of unsated lust. Moans? He almost sounded like he was growling. Putting his mouth to work again, he sucked at Jani's nipple and the flesh. Hard. Yeah, that was gonna bruise.

* * *

"Sav, Sav, oh god, Sav!" Jani cried and keened, bucking wildly when Sav stroked the tiny organ inside him. How long was it since they'd laid down to rest a little after having mind-numbing sex on the stairs? Jani hadn't thought he'd be able to get it up again, much less come, but he had no doubt now that he was going to, and that it would be earth-shattering.

Then Sav bit down hard on his nipple and that was it, the floodgates opened. Jani clutched at Sav, not caring that his lover would have bruises and scratches, he needed to hold on to him because otherwise he'd come apart. "Sav!" Jani screamed as a jet of seed was propelled from his slit, followed by a second, a third, but although his balls kept contracting they had nothing more to give, yet his dick continued to pulse.

"God, Sav, h-hold me..."

* * *

Jani went wild, there was no other way to describe it. He dug his fingers into Sav's shoulder hard enough to bruise, dug his nails in, left half-moon imprints and scratches. It almost made Sav come, being marked by his lover. A second later, Jani screamed again and again as he shot multiple streaks of cream, coating his chest and belly, some of it splashing on Sav, as well. God, this kid! He never ceased to amaze Sav with the quality and velocity of seed, or the intensity of his release overall.

The little gland inside had turned harder and lumpy, but Sav continued to stroke it, slower and gliding rather than prodding, to milk every drop. This didn't go on long. Jani needed to be held, which he'd been anticipating. Though Sav was drooling, his dick turned to stone and so heavy, he murmured, "Mmm, yes of course," pulled his fingers free, rolled them to their sides and took Jani into his arms.

The younger man shook like he was coming apart again. "It's okay... you're alright, did so good," he continued, holding on tighter. "Always so good." Partly as comfort, partly to assuage his own needs, Sav kissed along Jani's shoulder, the side of his neck, and toward the middle, tasting semen. He shared the taste then, from his tongue to Jani's.

* * *

"Sav, I..." Jani swallowed. He wasn't clinging to Sav any longer, not because he didn't want to but because all strength had fled his body. It felt as if he were floating, held safely by the man he loved. Sav licked Jani's come off his chest, then fed it to him in a kiss. It was an odd thing to do, this wasn't the first time Sav was doing it and Jani didn't mind – he _really_ savoured being kissed by Sav– but it was still weird. He'd meant to ask Sav about it before, but by the time his brain was able to form words again he'd forgotten.

Also, there was a more pressing matter, literally, right now, namely Sav's erection against Jani's thigh. Jani knew he'd need a moment before he'd feel strong enough to actively help Sav with it, but thank goodness there were other options.

"Sav," he whispered again, his voice wrecked from the screams of release, "do... want you to do what you need. In me or... rub against me... Wanna hold you when you come..."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Sav whispered urgently. "Need you so bad, need to be in you... Can I...? Please!" He was already lowering Jani to his back again, nudging his legs apart, crawling on top of him. If Jani said no, he'd wank and maybe ask for Jani to use his hands too, if he could take him. Sav's body arched, his hips rolling once. He reached down and grasped himself, groaning at his own touch.

* * *

"I'm sure," Jani whispered hoarsely. "I want you in me when you come." He smiled.

* * *

"I... oh gawd..." Sav moaned again, positioning himself, and then he suddenly realized... no condom! He'd been so caught up in the moment he had totally forgot. Dammit! He should know better after all these years. "Just a second..."

His balls screamed at him to hurry the fuck up. The bedside table was further away than his reach. "So sorry... need to grab a rubber."

* * *

There was a short interruption when Sav had to let go of him and find a condom. Jani mad a mental note that they should probably stash a few under the pillows. Not that he'd expected them to have another go so soon...

Sav rummaged around in the bedside table drawer and dug one out. "It'll be quicker if you put it on this time," Jani said and smiled. "Although I enjoyed doing it for you earlier, but," he lifted his hands and they were still shaking. "You see why it's better if you do it. Oh, and just in case you're worrying: my hands may not be ready, but the rest of me is. Waiting for you. Wanting to feel you. Wanting to feel you coming in me."

* * *

The distance he had to crawl put Sav's groin at about the level of Jani's arm. There was a strip of condoms in the drawer and he fumbled one free, then reversed his crawl and sat up on his knees. With a heavy-lidded, enigmatic little smile, Jani held up his hands to show why he wasn't exactly capable of doing the honours right then. Though Sav would have loved Jani to glove him up, he understood and deeply appreciated the 'problem' since it was the result of an overwhelming, mind-blowing climax. He was shaking a little, too, although for a different reason.

It took less than ten seconds to roll the condom over himself, making sure the bottom band of it was secure above his balls, which were pulled up so tight by now, they'd almost fused with the shaft. Then he was on top of Jani again. Sav trembled harder, trying to control himself. A post-orgasmic Jani would be relaxed, granted. He would not, likely, be looking for additional prostate stimulation or vigorous thrusting.

They'd left the lube in the hallway. He'd have to use what was available. Sliding two fingers back into Jani, Sav gathered some slick for the outer borders of his hole. Then he spat into his other hand and used that as a thin coating over the latex layer.

Enough! All thoughts fled Sav's brain. Watching Jani's face, Sav pushed into him. "Yeeesssss!" His cry was both victorious and tortured. This, this was what he wanted, to be buried inside the body of the person he loved, see his eyes blink or flutter closed, his mouth smile or snarl, feel the heat of him, and to be able to unleash his most primal needs. Sav rolled his hips and thrust, hard, as hard as he dared. Trusting Jani would speak up if he needed to change angles or slow down, he moaned, "Feels so good, so good...!"

Yes! Jani's thighs held him secure while Sav lengthened his spine for a few long, gliding slides in and out, to the hilt, to the tip, lunging forward each time. He couldn't keep that up for long, he was too close. "I... I gotta... can't stop, can't hold back!" If he was too rough and Jani told him to slow down, that would be that only thing that could put the brakes on now.

* * *

As much as Jani loved it when they hit climax together, feeling – and unlike when Jani was attempting to blow him, also watching – how Sav got off was something he wanted to experience over and over again. His hands may be too shaky to stroke his lover, but they were okay enough to put them on Sav's butt and pull him in, letting him know that it was okay to rut, to thrust deep.

"Let it go, love," he whispered. The word slipping out before he was aware of it. He wouldn't take it back, though, not when it was the truth.

* * *

Those fingers! Light but strong, they landed on Sav's arse and pulled him closer, pulled him in. Sav moved as the grip on him allowed, even demanded. He went deeper, faster, the pressure building to almost unbearable. The muscles on either side of his spine, in his butt, his thighs began to burn, between the usage and the tension of the climax that was barrelling down on him.

Jani told him to let go, the same lyric they'd used on each other before. It always served as permission, a signal that the speaker was ready and then. But when Jani called him 'love', that was the final floodgate thrown wide open. His near-violent thrusts were accompanied by his vocals, which Sav could not help any more than the orgasm itself. The word that set him off, though, he suppressed, remembering how skittish it made his... love. "Oh.... Oh fuck.... oh, gawd! Jani... Jani, oh! I'm gonna come, gonna come!"

And Sav finally flew over the edge. He threw back his head and screeched in release, loud to even his own ears. The spasms of his balls spewing his seed, of his arsehole contracting in rapid clenches, and of chemicals being dumped into his system left him gasping, writhing instead of thrusting. Even after he had nothing left, no more fluid to even dribble, he felt like he was still coming. The plateau was endless, until suddenly it was over. Sav lowered his head, hair falling to combine with the tangled mess Jani's red mane had become. He couldn't look up yet; his eyes were filled with tears, and he shivered like he was freezing. Instead, he panted, "It was... so intense. I can't..." Can't what, he never knew. Can't move? Can't produce another drop? Can't live without you? Somehow they all melted into one.

* * *

When Sav came, Jani felt as if he himself was coming, too – not as a physical climax, his balls were so drained that he wasn't sure if they'd ever fully recharge, but he moaned with joy when Sav screeched, felt him pulse inside him, then sensed the exhaustion when Sav collapsed on top of him, shivering.

Jani knew how Sav felt: He'd been there himself only moments ago. "It's okay," he whispered and stroked Sav's hair, marvelling how fine and soft it was. "I've got you."

* * *

Sav let himself float. If he were any less conscious, he'd be passed out or asleep. All the muscle groups that had been tense and straining minutes ago were lax, leaden and drugged. He became aware of Jani stroking his hair, the first time he could remember Jani having done so.

It helped. Sav was able shift his focus from the too-acute emotions to being gently touched. Having his hair played with was so intimate, kind of in the same way kissing was. The shaking stopped; he slipped free and rolled to the side. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing Jani's shoulder.

* * *

When Sav slipped out of him, Jani winced: yes, he was sore. He wasn't worried, though. He'd been sore after being with Sav before and he was confident that he'd be fine tomorrow if they used hands and mouth tonight... If he could get it up at all, that was, he thought, but he'd thought the same after their encounter on the stairs and Sav had proved him wrong within minutes.

Jani was tempted to reply that Sav was welcome, but this wasn't the time for jokes. "Likewise," he said instead. Sav's lips felt good on his shoulder. They were soft and gentle, perfect for the afterglow. Jani felt his eyelids getting heavy...

"What would you say if I suggested a nap?" he asked.

* * *

"Best idea ever," Sav replied. His voice came out like a frog with a frog in _its_ throat. "This time, I'll get us something to clean up with, first." They'd gone to sleep the night before without washing, and had awoken stuck together – literally.

Sitting up gave him a real challenge. Sav was even a little dizzy. He looked down at the condom still hanging off his dick, pulled if off and tied it, and lowered his legs over the side of the bed. "Back in a second."

* * *

"I should probably do that this time," Jani said when Sav announced he'd get them cleaned up, "but I'll be honest, I'm too lazy for that, so I'm happy to be the guest and let myself be spoiled by my host." He grinned.

* * *

"Yep, I have no problem with that. Being a good host and all," Sav winked. In the bathroom, he soaked two washcloths in warm water, wrung them out, and grabbed a hand towel as well, to dry them.

Walking back out, he was aware of Jani's eyes on him. Since Jani had never been into men before, he had probably never really looked at a male body other than in passing. While Sav was as lackadaisical with any diet and exercise regime as he was about his doctor's orders, he'd never received any complaints about his physique, other than from his bandmates who would of course take the piss out of him if he put on a few pounds. Although he did so more in a teasing manner than the forthright statements Sav was inclined to make – which Jani didn't like – he had complimented him and various parts of him. Sav deliberately slowed his walk without making any other changes to his posture or expression.

He'd been about to ask a leading question about 'old and wrinkled' but changed his mind. "Will you let me wash you?" he asked instead.

* * *

Jani laughed, relieved that apparently Sav didn't mind taking care of cleaning them up again. "Of course," he said earnestly. "I trust you. Even with," he cringed, "slightly sore places. Actually, could you do me a favour and bring me the ointment tube from my wash bag when you return the towels to the bathroom? It's for the surgery scar on my finger and I used it the last time I was, well, sore."

* * *

"Right, I remember that you used that in Helsinki. Good one, probably better than regular hand lotion. I don't mind." Sav sat on the bed and, taking one of the wet cloths, cleaned the come off of Jani's chest. He grinned a little as he brushed over each nipple. "Are these sore, too?" he asked.

Continuing down Jani's belly, he used different parts of the cloth to make sure his treasure trail and pubes were clean. Being sticky there was the worst. "Okay, flip over, please. Make sure to tell me if I need to stop." The last time Sav had done this for Jani, he'd been all but asleep. He took the utmost care there, more dabbing than anything. Yeah, Jani wasn't going to want to sit for a while. The ointment had worked well before, though.

Sav indicated he was finished with two pats to Jani's hip. Then he started on his own torso.

* * *

"Well, it had better work," Jani said dryly. "I've got plans for the next few days." He laid on his back so Sav could wipe the spunk off his front side. When asked about his nipples being sore, Jani didn't even wince, it wasn't that bad, but they'd probably be bruised the following day. "Worth every second," he smiled. Taking Sav's hand to stop him from cleaning him for a second, Jani kissed it. "Thank you. For everything. For taking care of me here right now. I'd have gone to sleep as sticky as I was a few seconds ago and I wouldn't have been happy on waking."

Then Sav made him roll over on his stomach. Jani spread his legs to provide better access, but when Sav nudged his cheeks apart and very gently dabbed at his entrance, he hissed nevertheless. "Still saying it was worth it," he assured Sav, but I'm really glad I have something to put on it. Um," he hesitated, "would you do it for me?"

* * *

"I hear that... and my plans might be similar to yours." They'd gone to sleep covered in spunk and Sav hadn't enjoyed what it was like to wake up all crusty and itchy that morning. Sure, it washed off, but it was avoidable. "And... it may sound sappy but I want to take care of you, just these little things, when and how I can. Not because you can't take care of yourself," he added hastily, "but because it feels right, giving something of myself, caring for another person. So I should thank you for allowing it."

Then Jani asked that he not only retrieve the ointment, but apply it. Sav hadn't missed the wince and the hiss when he'd cleaned Jani, though he was as gentle about it as he was capable. "Yes, of course. If you want me to..." he hurried through his own washing and returned to the bathroom with the used cloths, which he draped over the edge of the tub. Jani had left his bag of toiletries by the sink. Feeling a bit out of bounds though he'd effectively been given permission, Sav searched the contents till he found the tube, then returned to the bedroom.

"Alright. I'll be as quick as I can." Jani hadn't moved so Sav crawled up on the bed and between his spread legs and liberally coated his pinkie finger. Smearing the slick solution over the outside muscle in a thick layer first, he then wiggled in the finger tip to apply ointment inside. He made sure it was spread and withdrew. The less Jani was in pain here, the better.

Since the tube was much too important to lose, Sav put it in his bedside table drawer. Then he, too, laid down. Two orgasms within an hour or so. No wonder he could barely keep his eyes open. They'd get to the music room... later.

* * *

Once Sav had cleaned them both up and went to the bathroom to return the towels and fetch his ointment, Jani began to fret again. Although he felt guilty that Sav was looking after him, he recognised the difference of Sav taking care of him because he wanted to and others taking care of him because he couldn't do it himself. Okay, that had been the case in Milan as well where Jani couldn't have managed without Sav's help, but the accident hadn't been his fault... Okay, that wasn't entirely true either, if he hadn't been drunk...

_Stop it,_ he told himself. Why couldn't he just relax and let himself enjoy what was freely given?

Then Sav returned from the bathroom and Jani couldn't help but smile. He continued to smile even though it felt like hellfire burning in his arse when Sav applied the ointment. It was necessary and it would get better, and he didn't regret what they'd done to cause this, but it still didn't mean he liked the pain. Asking Sav to help him had been the right decision, though: considering how sore he was, Jani wasn't sure if he'd have mustered enough courage to actually spread the stuff, especially on the inside.

"Thanks, man, really appreciated..." He yawned. Sav laid down next to him as soon as Jani had turned on his side and the burning sensation faded a little. Somehow, they immediately found themselves in each other's arms again. Sighing happily, Jani inhaled Sav's scent. Here and now, sheltered in his lover's warmth, the perpetual turmoil in his mind finally came to a standstill.

Jani slept.

* * *

Between the minor stresses of the day and the sex – the sex! – Jani was out like a light. The same factors plus the even, sleep-pattern breathing of his lover had a soporific effect on Sav as well. He didn't fall asleep immediately, but reflected on their earlier visit to the shops and the GP.

Mainly, he thought, other than when he was wound up and horny, Jani was complicated. That, he could understand because he'd had his own medical and addiction issues. Well, it wasn't something he could 'diagnose' in Jani, since he hadn't known him for very long, he was taking the younger man's word for it and he was sure there was a lot Jani was holding back. As for himself, he'd drunk to excess with the rest of his band, had played around with other drugs, but Sav didn't really consider that 'addiction', per se. At least he'd never shot up, and Jani had made it clear he hadn't tried hard drugs.

Call it being set in his ways, Sav seemed to get himself into trouble when he wasn't listening to... sometimes words, but more often what wasn't said or was communicated non-verbally. He was used to doing what he wanted, or what was required for his job and having it spelled out for him when he needed to change something. There was no set of rules that he could discern with Jani. He was going to have to pay better attention. The challenge of 'learning' a person's quirks didn't bother him; he rather looked forward to however it would unfold.

Eventually, his mind quieted and Sav, too, was pulled under by sleep.

* * *


End file.
